Skip to main content

Wednesday Update: 02/20/08

We’re on the countdown now…the countdown for the China trip and then the pending move. So much going on – I just haven’t had much time to stop and write. There are so many details to think about…and I find myself just wanting to sit and enjoy being ‘normal’ with Matt. Of course, those days and moments are fleeting…there is just too much to do. I feel pretty torn about it. I want to just enjoy the time we have together, but on the same time, I know I have to stay on top of the packing and preparations. Just think about all the arrangements that need to be made when moving…then add a trip to China in the midst…and don’t even get me started on returning home to an empty and packed up house. My head and heart are full of emotions…

Last week we celebrated Valentine’s Day quietly at home together. Of course, I had made the traditional heart shaped cookie…his favorite. This year I looked up the Chinese symbol for Love and put that on there. It’s always a challenge to put something new and creative on Matt’s Valentine’s cookie! I thought the Chinese was pretty clever, if I do say so myself. And it didn’t turn out too bad either! Go figure.

Saturday night we had a small get together with friends – one last little shin-dig before he leaves. We had a great time hanging out and catching up with everyone. I know Matt will sorely miss them all while he is gone, but is looking forward to having a big bash when he comes home with all of our friends and families. In fact, if you are reading this and want to come – please mark your calendar for June 7th. We’ll be having an all afternoon/evening come and go open house to welcome him home. He is already thinking ahead to that time and how much fun it will be to see everyone…and how much he hopes there are many changes to celebrate.

This week we are also making final arrangements to ship the Trans Am down to Florida. It will likely be gone in the next few days. While it is completely wonderful that we actually got it sold, and the money will be so timely for the trip and moving expenses…it will be so hard to watch it go. There are so many changes coming…I can’t truly express the way I feel about them. Bittersweet. I’m sure eventually there won’t be quite such a lump in my throat about it all…but right now, it feels kind of raw.

I look at this picture on my desk of Jay, Chad and Matt with the Trans Am and get pretty choked up. It’s not just the car…it’s the good times with the car, and with our friends. I see these friends, standing by Matt and I just swell with gratitude. Their love, their support, their true, true friendship – they mean so much to us both. I know that guys don’t say it…but observing them together; the laughter, the smiles, the knowing looks, the hand shakes, the shoulder squeezes…the feelings are evident to me. Saturday was just another shining example of the tremendous love and support he has from his friends. There is a lot of love there – and I am so grateful, so thankful. Matt and I are very blessed to have so many wonderful friends, and I’m glad we got to spend some time with a bunch of them on Saturday night. I can’t wait until we are all together again!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Where We're at…Right Now

This whole adoption thing is tough stuff, friends. It is a roller coaster ride like no other. And I have to be honest – I’m still not sure this will be it for us. I want to believe it is…but I’m just.not.sure. Matt and I were on our way to church yesterday, listening to the 90’s station when the cult classic ‘Achy Breaky Heart’ came on. We both giggled…and may have turned it up a tad. Near the end we both howled out a woooo-woooo in near perfect, spontaneous, unison with dear mullet headed Billy Ray. It made me laugh instantly and I blurted out ‘we’re so perfect together’. And honestly – we are.
That thought stuck with me all morning.  We.are.perfect.together.  What we have – our marriage, our friendship, our devotion and commitment to each other….they are priceless. Our union is a blessing. It is blessed. 100% meant to be. No doubt in my mind. There is no one on this planet who could ever know me like Matt. We have been through hell and back together. In the hospital, shortly after his …

I may as well tell you...

I had a miscarriage. I’ve debated for weeks whether or not to acknowledge it publicly. It’s such a personal thing…and this is such a public medium. But a few months have gone by and I’m no closer to feeling ok about it and truly nothing else on my mind really compares, so here I am, letting the world in on my secret. Over the past few weeks I’ve found very little comfort in the fact that only a small handful of people know about the miscarriage. It became nearly unbearable this week, during all our wonderful family Christmas celebrations. Being surrounded by so many people who love me and support me and have no idea how my heart has been broken – it’s a lonely place to be. Not that I would want them all to bombard me with pity or questions or sad looks in their eyes – I realize I can’t have it both ways. But a little acknowledgement goes a long way and I simply can’t ignore or deny the fact that something major happened in my life and impacted me, impacts me still.
It was a warm, sunn…

Mother's Day Emotions

Mother’s Day weekend is coming and I’m finding myself all sorts of emotional – go figure. I think the anticipation of how I might feel on my very first Mother’s Day after so many years of hoping, waiting, and wondering sort of made it a bit anticlimactic. Or maybe I guarded my heart a little and didn’t fully let the magnitude of my emotions wash over me. Regardless, I find myself MUCH more emotional this time around.
Last night we watched a TV show about children growing up and moving out etc…and I actually cried. All those jerks who told me how fast children grow and how quickly the time moves…were right. Of course I feel how swiftly time moves the older I get…I blinked and now I’m in my (gulp) 40’s. But I simply could not have fathomed how I would feel about the amount of time I have to be Ethan’s mother. It feels finite. Fleeting. Just not enough.
Don’t get me wrong, I love watching Ethan grow! He is learning and changing and cracking me up all the time. He loves climbing, and runn…