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Showing posts from October, 2015

Ten Weeks

Ethan is ten weeks old today. Ten weeks. It seems like a lifetime ago that he came into our lives, and just yesterday at the same time. It’s still so crazy, thinking back on our time in Florida and all we went through these past few months since learning we were chosen to parent him.He’s growing and changing so much – it’s incredible. But tens weeks has me a bit emotional.
I feel twelve weeks, and my return to work, steadily creeping up on us. And then I find it a bit hard to swallow the lump in my throat.
I have dreamed of being a mother for as long as I can remember. I have wondered for years what it would feel like to hold a baby of my own in my arms.
To snuggle a soft head against my cheek.
To see a big toothless smile and coo just for me.
To stumble around at night warming bottles and changing diapers.
To sing quiet songs and whisper prayers of thanksgiving while rocking my sleeping baby.
I daydreamed and fantasized and wondered what it would be like…but none of that could have ad…

Mommy Fails

Today I had a work meeting and needed to leave Ethan for a few hours. It was the 2nd time I’ve been away from him for more than a few minutes for a work thing. I suppose it’s ‘good practice’ for the inevitable return to work, but it’s still a little hard to leave that face. Last night I busied myself laying out clothes and preparing as much as possible for the early morning handoff to Matt’s mom.I had planned to leave the house around 7:15 – the earliest I’ve been anywhere since, oh, let’s say…August 10th!
I had set the alarm for 5:30 – just in case…but Ethan woke me up around 5:10 so I knew I’d have plenty of time to ready us both for the day. Good practice, I thought.
Ethan drank his bottle with his usual fervor, but towards the end, I could sense that he was ‘working’ on something. Of course we had to stop drinking – because he can’t concentrate on both at the same time. It’s a strange thing – just sitting, rocking your baby as he works on his number two – his big eyes looking up a…