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Sunday Update: 03/01/09

Matt and I spent several hours yesterday sprawled out on the couch watching old home videos. It was something we hadn’t done for a very long time, and it was actually really fun. The last time I had pulled out any old movies was to watch our wedding video in the summer of 2006 when Matt was in Omaha. It was a very emotional time, and I’m sure I bawled the entire time. Watching the videos together this time though, was completely different. I didn’t feel that stinging sense of loss or sadness. As we watched the history of our life together during various trips to visit family, vacations, and ordinary things around the house I could feel a sense of fullness swelling up inside. It became obvious to us both, just how blessed we really are.
I look back at the past 10 years of marriage and I can’t help but be full of gratitude. Matt and I have known so many good times, and our cups have always overflowed with goodness. We laughed at the videos of our dogs as puppies playing and snuggling together with the cat. We smiled at the videos of our very first house and how proud we were of the improvements we made to it. We laughed at the videos of inside jokes and pranks and all the family times together; like Meghan’s 2nd birthday party and the infamous smiley face on Chad’s finger, and Larry drag racing in reverse, Lissa and I and our Christmas tree cutting adventure, Dad, Chad, and Matt hanging lights on the huge tree at Mom and Dad’s in Muscatine, Matt, George, and Lissa playing catch in the lake…and Matt and George wrestling in the water, George cooking a ‘sandburger’ on the beach, Hope and Chad bringing home a new born baby Meghan to their house in Stanhope. Precious, every one of them.
I looked at the images of Matt walking around, hearing his familiar voice and expressions and I simply accept that this is how he used to be…and then I turn and see him next to me on the couch, hear his familiar voice, see his expressions and I accept that this is how he is now. So much the same…in all the important ways. I just look at him and love him…then, now, always. The things that have changed really, truly do not impact the way I feel about him.
It was surprising to me, how good it felt to watch the old videos together and enjoy them, rather than feel sad. We both enjoyed them. It has been nearly 4 years since we’ve really video taped much of anything, but looking back at the various times in our lives made us realize that we need to do a better job of capturing them now as well. Yeah, things are different now…but in so many ways, they are better. I look around me – there are too many blessings to count. Too many wonderful things in my life to mention. And I’m just so grateful…incredibly grateful that I get to share them still, with Matt.

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