Skip to main content

Valentine’s Day Blahs

I don’t mean to be a Valentine’s Day hater…but really…I kind of hate it. For as long as I can remember, I’ve had an aversion to what has so blatantly become a ‘Hallmark’ holiday. The older I get, the more I feel like Charlie Brown searching for the meaning of Christmas…only there isn’t so obvious an answer in the end. I guess I ultimately don’t see the point in showering your true love with gifts a plenty on this one day that’s magically deemed special. It seems so…forced. And really, it’s like you’re damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.
If you’re in a relationship and your significant other doesn’t do something for you on Valentine’s Day…you are disappointed. If you act disappointed, then your lover feels bad and then feels obligated to remedy the situation with a last minute run to Hy-Vee for flowers…or some such thing. And then you feel bad when they return with what was surely the last tiny handful of baby’s breath…and they feel bad…and you feel bad.
If you aren’t in a relationship…you feel like a loser. And want to boycott the whole day. Even I, who roll my eyes when I walk into work on February 14th and see the tables set up, ready and waiting to be filled with deliveries galore, can’t help but feel a little grumbly when my phone fails to ring to tell me about my non-existent delivery.
If you’re just starting a relationship, you feel obligated to do something remarkable…and then spend the next several years trying to figure out either how to duplicate it, top it, or hope that you won’t HAVE to be so grand going forward…all of which generally leave the recipient disappointed in one way or another.
This year I was feeling especially grumbly as I walked in to work…which is dumb, because I generally try not to let the Valentine’s whoo-ha get under my skin. Each year, I make Matt his big cookie,
take a few pictures, we exchange cards and smooches…and that’s about it. Simple, easy, predictable…no one gets disappointed. But today, little did I know, Matt had other plans…plans that, in true Valentine’s day fashion, got completely screwed up.
On my way home from work, I called Matt to tell him I’d be stopping at the grocery store. He asked me how my day was…’fine’. ‘Just fine?’ ‘Yep.’ ‘You didn’t get anything?’ ‘No…should I have?’ ‘YES!’ Apparently, he had arranged to have flowers sent to me at work…today…Valentine’s number 19 together…the first and ONLY time he’s ever made plans to send flowers to me at work…and they came after I had left. Figures. This just added to my Valentine’s slump. I had missed it. Missed my big moment to stop at the security desk for MY delivery. Missed carrying it up the elevators with that silly, smug smile of ‘yup, I just got FLOWERS’…missed it all. Which is DUMB, I realize…because I hate that whole thing. But still, the high school girl who still lives somewhere deep down inside, was disappointed. I realize the flowers will be waiting for me when I get back to work tomorrow…but it won’t be the same. I won’t have gotten VALENTINE’S flowers. Whoop-d-do, right!?!? But this is what I’m saying…Valentine’s Day makes me nuts, apparently.
So when I finally got home to my dear Matt…we hugged…a LOT and laughed a lot over our stupid, mixed up Valentine’s Day…he had also completely forgotten to get out my card…which he DID have…but forgot he had. And we made a deal…next year, we ‘re just going to treat February 14th like a Karwoski birthday. Maybe we’ll call it Matt & Emily day…and we’ll take the day off work (to avoid the I-did/didn’t-get-flowers-at-work debacle) and just enjoy the day together. Because I guess at the end of the day that is what it should be…to me. And it’s not that a day to say I love you is bad…but man, we sure do screw it up.

The picture that Gina took for me after she went down and picked up my delivery:

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

WE'RE ADOPTING!!

Bah! I said it…er wrote it…out loud. There it is, in black and white for the world to see. (Pause for a drink and a breath) Matt and I are in the very early stages of planning to adopt. We have had a few meetings with an adoption agency, we are gathering the necessary information, and we are making plans to get this ball officially rolling SOON. It has been a very long and winding road to get us to this point, and honestly I never thought we’d get here. Adoption isn’t what we started out hoping for. It isn’t where we thought we’d end up. But here we are – gearing up for what will surely be a life-changing experience for us with hearts full of hope and excitement. The topic of adoption has come up in the past, but we quickly dismissed it for one reason or another. Matt and I have had our fair share of insecurities about whether or not adoption would be a good option for us. Who would look at our family profile and pick us?? It was a burning question that we probably still have ...

I may as well tell you...

I had a miscarriage. I’ve debated for weeks whether or not to acknowledge it publicly. It’s such a personal thing…and this is such a public medium. But a few months have gone by and I’m no closer to feeling ok about it and truly nothing else on my mind really compares, so here I am, letting the world in on my secret. Over the past few weeks I’ve found very little comfort in the fact that only a small handful of people know about the miscarriage. It became nearly unbearable this week, during all our wonderful family Christmas celebrations. Being surrounded by so many people who love me and support me and have no idea how my heart has been broken – it’s a lonely place to be. Not that I would want them all to bombard me with pity or questions or sad looks in their eyes – I realize I can’t have it both ways. But a little acknowledgement goes a long way and I simply can’t ignore or deny the fact that something major happened in my life and impacted me, impacts me still.   It was a ...

Carrie Anne - The Beginning of the Story

So, I’ve been trying to sort out how to start this story. It’s been difficult to articulate. Difficult to pick which details to share, and which to hold close. But it’s a story too good, too beautiful, not to share – so here goes! When Matt and I first became parents, we thought our family was complete. We envisioned raising Ethan surrounded by loving friends and family – just the two of us. Given all that we had gone through to finally become parents, we felt content with just the one child. The most adorable boy in the whole wide world. Our Ethan was the apple of our eyes – the most amazing gift. We marveled at all of his accomplishments, soaked up all his love and personality, and celebrated the joy of parenthood at every exhausting, wonderful turn. Along the way, we’ve built a strong and loving relationship with Ethan’s birthmother. We visit yearly, and stay in close contact with pictures, emails, and texts. I have attempted to describe my feelings for her many times over the...