Skip to main content

Paying it Forward...Not Just for the Movies!


The concept of paying it forward is not a new one. It’s likely been around in one form or another much longer than the movie…but it’s one worth contemplating now and then, and one that I recently saw in action and it stuck with me. My Mom was paying it forward.

I love my Mom – dearly. I have so many wonderful memories, so many good times at her side. So much of who I am today (good and bad) comes from her.  Over the years I’ve seen myself reflected in her actions, sense of humor, and quirky personality traits time and time again. She raised me to be honest and kind, firm and true to myself. My Mom is tough. She tells it like it is. She loves NASCAR and NHR and shooting her guns at snakes. And yet, she is a marvel in the kitchen and prepares wonderful meals for Dad and us routinely.  I’ve counted myself blessed in many ways for having her as a mother, and recently she gave me another example.

Since moving out of state, she’s been the primary lawn mower in the family. Their current place in Oklahoma sits on roughly 10 acres of land, with a pond, timber, and pasture that she has to mow around and maintain. It is an all-day affair for her to mow and I expect she loves it as much as I love mowing my little plot of land…which is not at all. So it intrigued me when she mentioned in passing that she was mowing for a neighbor of hers too.  As it turns out, one of their neighbor’s husband fell sick last winter, suffering a heart attack and subsequent stroke. He spent several months in the hospital and rehab facilities, before finally succumbing to his injuries and he passed away last week. My parents had only met this neighbor officially once or twice. They barely knew each other.

My Mom is not an overly outgoing person. She doesn’t make fast friends. She, like myself, is uncomfortable in large groups. And yet…she knew how people, some of them virtual strangers, had stepped up to help us out with various things, after Matt’s stroke. She knew how that impacted me – her daughter and so she reached out to this neighbor. She stepped outside her own comfort zone and insisted that she would mow their lawn for them as well.  And just like that she paid it forward. Hearing her talk about it to me, she got a little choked up…and that’s something she rarely does. But she said she just kept thinking about all the wonderful things, big and small, that people did for us in our time of need and how much they touched us.  She wanted to give back in whatever way she could. I have no doubt that the neighbor is exceedingly grateful that she didn’t have to worry about her yard while her husband was so sick. I imagine her pulling up her driveway after a long day visiting her sick husband and feeling relief that she had one less thing to deal with. And I imagine she was humbled and touched by my Mom’s act of kindness.

It struck me, for a moment, how my life…my situation has touched others. It made me remember again some of the big and small favors people did for us that will always move me. I have always felt unworthy of the help, and it was often hard to accept it…but it was a beautiful example of human beings being kind to one another…helping one another…loving one another as we were instructed to do so by the One who loves us most. And I was deeply touched that my Mom was moved by our story, and so many of your loving actions, to take action herself and help out a family she barely knows. It made me grateful again for all the love and amazing blessings we’ve known throughout our difficult times…and it made me think that we should all be looking for ways we can step out of our own comfort zones and pay it forward now and then.

Comments

Emily said…
That is such a generous gift - and needed reminder. I just hope the neighbors don't have ten acres, too!

Popular posts from this blog

WE'RE ADOPTING!!

Bah! I said it…er wrote it…out loud. There it is, in black and white for the world to see. (Pause for a drink and a breath) Matt and I are in the very early stages of planning to adopt. We have had a few meetings with an adoption agency, we are gathering the necessary information, and we are making plans to get this ball officially rolling SOON. It has been a very long and winding road to get us to this point, and honestly I never thought we’d get here. Adoption isn’t what we started out hoping for. It isn’t where we thought we’d end up. But here we are – gearing up for what will surely be a life-changing experience for us with hearts full of hope and excitement. The topic of adoption has come up in the past, but we quickly dismissed it for one reason or another. Matt and I have had our fair share of insecurities about whether or not adoption would be a good option for us. Who would look at our family profile and pick us?? It was a burning question that we probably still have ...

I may as well tell you...

I had a miscarriage. I’ve debated for weeks whether or not to acknowledge it publicly. It’s such a personal thing…and this is such a public medium. But a few months have gone by and I’m no closer to feeling ok about it and truly nothing else on my mind really compares, so here I am, letting the world in on my secret. Over the past few weeks I’ve found very little comfort in the fact that only a small handful of people know about the miscarriage. It became nearly unbearable this week, during all our wonderful family Christmas celebrations. Being surrounded by so many people who love me and support me and have no idea how my heart has been broken – it’s a lonely place to be. Not that I would want them all to bombard me with pity or questions or sad looks in their eyes – I realize I can’t have it both ways. But a little acknowledgement goes a long way and I simply can’t ignore or deny the fact that something major happened in my life and impacted me, impacts me still.   It was a ...

A Glimpse Into Open Adoption

If you had been a customer of the Longhorn Steakhouse on Highway 19 in Palm Harbor, FL last Sunday night, you may have seen two couples walking through the restaurant, oogling a sweet baby boy on the way to their table. You may have commented on how cute he was. You may have thought he looked a lot like the woman carrying him. You may have wondered about the man in the wheelchair. But you likely would not have assumed you’d be witnessing this baby’s biological parents sit down to dine with his adoptive parents. It’s a scene I’ve been playing over and over in my mind as I recount the wonderful experiences of our trip to Florida. The magnitude of that moment, that evening, will never be lost on me. It was incredible to be a part of – and I’m so very grateful we had it. We had met up with Ethan’s birthmother, L, earlier in the day. She hadn’t seen him since he was a few hours old and was anxiously waiting for us outside a local mall. As soon as we saw each other the tears welled up in o...