Skip to main content

Nine and Counting

Yesterday - September 14th - marked the 9th anniversary of Matt's stroke. It's really hard to fathom...nine years. Of course the years fade some of the memories and it does seem like forever ago (a lifetime, really) and yet...
Can it really be nine YEARS!?! It's so incredible to me that time is marching on and we find ourselves nearing the golden years of our 30's.  It's really crazy to me...and yet...
I feel like our 30's have been amazing - our best years. While they have brought us unimaginable changes and challenges - they have also brought us indescribable blessings. I look back over these past 9 years and I’m amazed at how wonderful they have been – despite all we’ve endured. We have traveled to many fantastic places; we have spent countless evenings laughing through tears with loving friends; we have shared meals and holidays surrounded by the loving warmth of our families; we have exchanged heartfelt hugs with our church family; we’ve seen the birth of special children in our lives; we’ve experienced incredible generosity from people near and far…the list goes on and on. While these past 9 years have had their share of grief and sadness mixed in – we feel overwhelmingly blessed.
I guess, it would be so easy to feel sad on anniversary number 9…and who’s to say how I’ll feel on anniversary number 10 (although I suspect a big ‘ol party may be in order)…or anniversary number 15 for that matter. But for now, I feel…good. Grateful. Full, in general, of good things. Matt and I are lucky, very lucky indeed, to find ourselves where we are on anniversary number 9.  And I thought it warranted a pause to acknowledge that.







Oh my, there are countless sad stories all around me right now…friends and family and strangers who are suffering losses greater than mine. I wish I could bring peace to you all. I wish I had answers to why things are as they are. I wish I had magic words or hands to make things right.  All I can say is what I’ve felt…since September 2005.  Whatever happens, no matter what, I will have what I need to get through it. That is, perhaps, the biggest blessing of all. And we certainly try not to take it for granted!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Glimpse Into Open Adoption

If you had been a customer of the Longhorn Steakhouse on Highway 19 in Palm Harbor, FL last Sunday night, you may have seen two couples walking through the restaurant, oogling a sweet baby boy on the way to their table. You may have commented on how cute he was. You may have thought he looked a lot like the woman carrying him. You may have wondered about the man in the wheelchair. But you likely would not have assumed you’d be witnessing this baby’s biological parents sit down to dine with his adoptive parents. It’s a scene I’ve been playing over and over in my mind as I recount the wonderful experiences of our trip to Florida. The magnitude of that moment, that evening, will never be lost on me. It was incredible to be a part of – and I’m so very grateful we had it. We had met up with Ethan’s birthmother, L, earlier in the day. She hadn’t seen him since he was a few hours old and was anxiously waiting for us outside a local mall. As soon as we saw each other the tears welled up in o...
3 comments
Read more

WE'RE ADOPTING!!

Bah! I said it…er wrote it…out loud. There it is, in black and white for the world to see. (Pause for a drink and a breath) Matt and I are in the very early stages of planning to adopt. We have had a few meetings with an adoption agency, we are gathering the necessary information, and we are making plans to get this ball officially rolling SOON. It has been a very long and winding road to get us to this point, and honestly I never thought we’d get here. Adoption isn’t what we started out hoping for. It isn’t where we thought we’d end up. But here we are – gearing up for what will surely be a life-changing experience for us with hearts full of hope and excitement. The topic of adoption has come up in the past, but we quickly dismissed it for one reason or another. Matt and I have had our fair share of insecurities about whether or not adoption would be a good option for us. Who would look at our family profile and pick us?? It was a burning question that we probably still have ...
5 comments
Read more

Mother's Day Emotions

Mother’s Day weekend is coming and I’m finding myself all sorts of emotional – go figure. I think the anticipation of how I might feel on my very first Mother’s Day after so many years of hoping, waiting, and wondering sort of made it a bit anticlimactic. Or maybe I guarded my heart a little and didn’t fully let the magnitude of my emotions wash over me. Regardless, I find myself MUCH more emotional this time around. Last night we watched a TV show about children growing up and moving out etc…and I actually cried. All those jerks who told me how fast children grow and how quickly the time moves…were right. Of course I feel how swiftly time moves the older I get…I blinked and now I’m in my (gulp) 40’s. But I simply could not have fathomed how I would feel about the amount of time I have to be Ethan’s mother. It feels finite. Fleeting. Just not enough. Don’t get me wrong, I love watching Ethan grow! He is learning and changing and cracking me up all the time. He loves climb...
Post a Comment
Read more