Karwoski Life

Matt and I spent our first night as ‘unsupervised’ parents in our hotel room – excited and a bit anxious to figure out how things would go.   We sat looking at this precious face and pondering how much our lives were going to change. It was surreal…still is really. Nearly two weeks have passed and I still can’t believe it!  Monday my mom flew in to help us here and help us when we fly home. (Such a Godsend!) Walking to the car to drive to the airport I asked Matt if he’d like to ride in back with Ethan…’no’ he said sort of like I was crazy for asking. By the time we got to the car…’How about I ride back here’. I loaded up ‘the boys’ in the backseat and chauffeured them over to the airport. My heart was full…such amazing, precious cargo riding in the back. How did I get so lucky!?   Mom arrived and found us waiting in the baggage claim – a stunned and happy look on her face. All the anticipation and here he was…in the flesh. I’ll never forget that look. The hugs she g...

Thursday morning we woke up sort of in limbo – torn between visiting Ethan and visiting his birth mother. We called and chatted with her and decided to go up to see her first. It was the first time we had been alone with her without any adoption workers – she had a friend with her who sat quietly and let us talk. We talked about many things…the baby’s delivery, how we anticipate the openness of our relationship growing over time, her hopes for a better future for herself, and our excitement and honor to have been chosen by her for this baby. It was priceless, that time with her, and I’m so very grateful we had it. We filled out his birth certificate together – officially naming him Ethan Philip and then she urged us to go see him. We hugged out goodbyes and planned to meet up later when she was discharged. Making our way to see the baby we were hopeful and excited. Everything with his birth mother seemed on track for a positive adoption. We couldn’t wait to get there! When we arri...

It was 4:26 AM Tuesday, August 11 th that our lives changed forever. I sprung to my feet to run to the office to answer my ringing phone. I could see the call was from our birthmother. The voice on the other end of the line was frantic, scared, pleading with me to hurry and come quick. Her water had broke and she was in labor. Time stood still. She asked me to call the agency and let them know. 10 minutes later she called again…’Hang on’…muffled voices, breathing, commotion…and the tiny crying of a newborn baby. ‘Is that him, I whispered?’ unsure if she could hear me. She was crying…’he’s ok…come as soon as you can’ I did my best to assure her we would be there as soon as possible and we hung up. I didn’t know what to do first. I was running in circles going between the baby’s room, our room, the kitchen…calling our parents. Trying to sit down to figure out a flight. Trying to pack…brush my teeth. And the tears were flowing…I have never longed to be somewhere as desperately as...