Ethan Philip - Day One

It was 4:26 AM Tuesday, August 11^th that our lives changed forever. I sprung to my feet to run to the office to answer my ringing phone. I could see the call was from our birthmother. The voice on the other end of the line was frantic, scared, pleading with me to hurry and come quick. Her water had broke and she was in labor.
Time stood still.
She asked me to call the agency and let them know. 10 minutes later she called again…’Hang on’…muffled voices, breathing, commotion…and the tiny crying of a newborn baby. ‘Is that him, I whispered?’ unsure if she could hear me. She was crying…’he’s ok…come as soon as you can’ I did my best to assure her we would be there as soon as possible and we hung up. I didn’t know what to do first. I was running in circles going between the baby’s room, our room, the kitchen…calling our parents. Trying to sit down to figure out a flight. Trying to pack…brush my teeth. And the tears were flowing…I have never longed to be somewhere as desperately as I did in those moments. So many things were running through my mind. None of it was how we thought. He was 4 weeks early. It went so fast we didn’t stand a chance to make the delivery – labor was only about 30 mins from the time her water broke. I was a basket case.
Thankfully we had washed and packed up our bag of baby items…but we were frantic putting together our own bag. Mom was on her way to help take us to the airport. I managed to sit still long enough to book a flight – frustrated that there were no direct flights that day and we couldn’t make the earliest time. We arranged for friends to care for the pets, tried to empty the fridge etc, made hotel and rental car arrangements…all at o-dark-thirty.  Somehow we managed to gather ourselves and made it to the airport for a 9:40 flight, however checking in I realized that in my frantic state I had booked the flight using Matt’s middle name for his middle and last name on the reservations. Matt Ethan Ethan. Subliminal? Oh the drama. Did you know that this is nearly a show stopper for the TSA?!? Apparently changing a name on a plane reservation is no easy task. Thankfully we were there early, because we stood while the agent was on hold trying to make the change for what seemed like an eternity. All I could think of was that baby on the other side of the country waiting for us. It.was.torture.
Landing in Dallas I turned on my phone to see the first images of beautiful Ethan. He was perfect. 4 lbs 13.4 oz and 18.5 inches long. TINY. Seeing his face for the first time – my heart skipped a beat. Could this tiny little being truly be ours? Oh I just couldn’t get there fast enough. It was a like one of those dreams where you are trying to run but your feet are stuck and nothing will move. The day stretched out forever in front of us as we made our way from Dallas to Tampa. Thankfully we were familiar with the airport and rental cars so we were able to make our way quickly to gather our things…big, checked bag, car seat, carryon bag and hopped in the rental car. And then the torture continued. 5:00 rush hour traffic…we hadn’t eaten since lunch. We hadn’t taken time to even go to the bathroom at the airport. Our hearts just ached to see the baby and his birthmother.
Around 6:30 we finally made it to the hospital where the birthmother was – baby had been transported to another hospital with a NICU better equipped to handle a preemie. We visited with the birthmother – she was so happy to see us. Her mother was there…and she gave us a gift bag full of clothes and blankets for the baby. I didn’t know what to say – it was so unexpected. She said how blessed he was to have us. How blessed we all were to have this new relationship forming.  And how God truly does answer prayers. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. It was so humbling. So amazing. God was truly writing an amazing story that I just couldn’t have imagined. We were in a scramble to get an ID bracelet for me so that we could go to the other hospital and visit Ethan. The fact that he was at a different hospital complicated the adoption process because technically we couldn’t be with the baby without the birthmother. She called to let them know that we were coming and to let us see the baby. ‘Go see your baby’ she said to me with a smile on her tired and worn out face.  She wanted so badly for us to be with him as soon as possible. It was 7:30. We had until 8:00 to make their visiting hours. It was the longest part of the longest day…EVER.
Finally a few minutes after 8:00, a couple of loving and understanding nurses let us come to see the baby with the social worker. They couldn’t tell us much and wouldn’t let us hold him…but we could see his face for ourselves. Oh my goodness…there he is. He’s here. He’s real. We headed to the hotel dazed, exhausted, starving, and relieved. We had laid eyes on this baby. He wasn’t ours yet – but we were hopeful things were going well with the birthmother. I was the first call she made…bless her heart. In every step of this process she has put our needs and wants first. She has tried to include us, to think of us in everything. Her graciousness throughout this process has been humbling and beautiful. We grabbed McDonald’s at 9:30 and settled in at the hotel to try and grasp all that had happened in that one day. Our lives were changed forever.