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Oh Daddy...

I realize I’ve been writing a lot about how life with Ethan has changed me – how much I have loved becoming a mother – and it occurs to me that I should share a little about Matt as a father.
It should come as no surprise to anyone that Matt and I are both incredibly enamored with Ethan. We are both 100% wrapped around his tiny little finger…happily. We both sit and oogle him, coo at him, talk to him, and absolutely melt when he snuggles into our chests. Becoming parents has been amazing. More…oh so much more than we could have fathomed.
Watching Matt with Ethan moves me in a way that’s hard to describe. I have loved Matt since I was a goofy 16 year old girl, but I can honestly say I’ve never loved him more than I do now – watching him as a daddy to our sweet Ethan. We knew going into this that parenthood would definitely have its challenges for us, given Matt’s disabilities. We knew I’d have to carry more of the weight while Ethan is small. We knew we’d have to find ways to accommodate Matt and make things work with his limitations. We knew Matt would have to stretch past his comfort zone in many ways. Not all that long ago, this would have been too much for Matt. But not now. Not anymore. And friends…it moves me to tears just thinking about it. God has done such amazing things in our lives – and Ethan is just the next shining example.
Yesterday we had our first snow storm. Fridays are Granny Karwoski days to come down and watch Ethan.  The weather was supposed to be worse up her way so we decided I would just work from home and keep everyone off the roads. I wasn’t sure how working from home with Ethan would go…but I can tell you – Daddy stepped up.
Matt absolutely took the lead on caring for Ethan all day yesterday so I could get work done. He played with him, he snuggled (and napped) with him, and he fed him. I helped get him set up for these things, then it was all Daddy and Ethan. Beautiful.
Ethan loves to sprawl out in the pack-n-play. He loves to play with toys, kick, and talk – especially when Daddy is sitting next to him chatting back.  I brought a couple books in from his room and suggested Matt show him the pictures. I didn’t really even expect him to read to him – because I know Matt hates his voice and thinks he sounds terrible. He wasn’t even sure he could show him the books only using one hand…but I showed him how I thought he could make it work. ‘You don’t even have to read the words, Ethan won’t care about the words’, I said. ‘But I care about them’, he replied. I shrugged my shoulders and went back to my computer, happy that he was willing to at least try holding the book up for Ethan. And then…he started reading. The book ‘I Love You So’…And truly…I started crying.

‘I love you. How Much? SO much. How much is SO? Way, way more than you know…’
It’s a beautiful book, which I love reading to Ethan…but hearing my dear, sweet, amazing husband reading it to him…priceless.
Ethan lay there kicking, cooing, and smiling…loving every minute that his Daddy read him a story. Matt read with emotion, inflection – to the best of his ability. But all I heard and felt was the love he has for Ethan. No doubt Ethan felt the same way.
Becoming a Daddy has transformed Matt yet again…and it is simply beautiful to witness. I am so blessed to be a part of our sweet little family…what a gift indeed.


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