Skip to main content

Oh Daddy...

I realize I’ve been writing a lot about how life with Ethan has changed me – how much I have loved becoming a mother – and it occurs to me that I should share a little about Matt as a father.
It should come as no surprise to anyone that Matt and I are both incredibly enamored with Ethan. We are both 100% wrapped around his tiny little finger…happily. We both sit and oogle him, coo at him, talk to him, and absolutely melt when he snuggles into our chests. Becoming parents has been amazing. More…oh so much more than we could have fathomed.
Watching Matt with Ethan moves me in a way that’s hard to describe. I have loved Matt since I was a goofy 16 year old girl, but I can honestly say I’ve never loved him more than I do now – watching him as a daddy to our sweet Ethan. We knew going into this that parenthood would definitely have its challenges for us, given Matt’s disabilities. We knew I’d have to carry more of the weight while Ethan is small. We knew we’d have to find ways to accommodate Matt and make things work with his limitations. We knew Matt would have to stretch past his comfort zone in many ways. Not all that long ago, this would have been too much for Matt. But not now. Not anymore. And friends…it moves me to tears just thinking about it. God has done such amazing things in our lives – and Ethan is just the next shining example.
Yesterday we had our first snow storm. Fridays are Granny Karwoski days to come down and watch Ethan.  The weather was supposed to be worse up her way so we decided I would just work from home and keep everyone off the roads. I wasn’t sure how working from home with Ethan would go…but I can tell you – Daddy stepped up.
Matt absolutely took the lead on caring for Ethan all day yesterday so I could get work done. He played with him, he snuggled (and napped) with him, and he fed him. I helped get him set up for these things, then it was all Daddy and Ethan. Beautiful.
Ethan loves to sprawl out in the pack-n-play. He loves to play with toys, kick, and talk – especially when Daddy is sitting next to him chatting back.  I brought a couple books in from his room and suggested Matt show him the pictures. I didn’t really even expect him to read to him – because I know Matt hates his voice and thinks he sounds terrible. He wasn’t even sure he could show him the books only using one hand…but I showed him how I thought he could make it work. ‘You don’t even have to read the words, Ethan won’t care about the words’, I said. ‘But I care about them’, he replied. I shrugged my shoulders and went back to my computer, happy that he was willing to at least try holding the book up for Ethan. And then…he started reading. The book ‘I Love You So’…And truly…I started crying.
‘I love you. How Much? SO much. How much is SO? Way, way more than you know…’
It’s a beautiful book, which I love reading to Ethan…but hearing my dear, sweet, amazing husband reading it to him…priceless.
Ethan lay there kicking, cooing, and smiling…loving every minute that his Daddy read him a story. Matt read with emotion, inflection – to the best of his ability. But all I heard and felt was the love he has for Ethan. No doubt Ethan felt the same way.
Becoming a Daddy has transformed Matt yet again…and it is simply beautiful to witness. I am so blessed to be a part of our sweet little family…what a gift indeed.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Carrie Anne - The Beginning of the Story

So, I’ve been trying to sort out how to start this story. It’s been difficult to articulate. Difficult to pick which details to share, and which to hold close. But it’s a story too good, too beautiful, not to share – so here goes! When Matt and I first became parents, we thought our family was complete. We envisioned raising Ethan surrounded by loving friends and family – just the two of us. Given all that we had gone through to finally become parents, we felt content with just the one child. The most adorable boy in the whole wide world. Our Ethan was the apple of our eyes – the most amazing gift. We marveled at all of his accomplishments, soaked up all his love and personality, and celebrated the joy of parenthood at every exhausting, wonderful turn. Along the way, we’ve built a strong and loving relationship with Ethan’s birthmother. We visit yearly, and stay in close contact with pictures, emails, and texts. I have attempted to describe my feelings for her many times over the
1 comment
Read more

I may as well tell you...

I had a miscarriage. I’ve debated for weeks whether or not to acknowledge it publicly. It’s such a personal thing…and this is such a public medium. But a few months have gone by and I’m no closer to feeling ok about it and truly nothing else on my mind really compares, so here I am, letting the world in on my secret. Over the past few weeks I’ve found very little comfort in the fact that only a small handful of people know about the miscarriage. It became nearly unbearable this week, during all our wonderful family Christmas celebrations. Being surrounded by so many people who love me and support me and have no idea how my heart has been broken – it’s a lonely place to be. Not that I would want them all to bombard me with pity or questions or sad looks in their eyes – I realize I can’t have it both ways. But a little acknowledgement goes a long way and I simply can’t ignore or deny the fact that something major happened in my life and impacted me, impacts me still.   It was a warm
4 comments
Read more

WE'RE ADOPTING!!

Bah! I said it…er wrote it…out loud. There it is, in black and white for the world to see. (Pause for a drink and a breath) Matt and I are in the very early stages of planning to adopt. We have had a few meetings with an adoption agency, we are gathering the necessary information, and we are making plans to get this ball officially rolling SOON. It has been a very long and winding road to get us to this point, and honestly I never thought we’d get here. Adoption isn’t what we started out hoping for. It isn’t where we thought we’d end up. But here we are – gearing up for what will surely be a life-changing experience for us with hearts full of hope and excitement. The topic of adoption has come up in the past, but we quickly dismissed it for one reason or another. Matt and I have had our fair share of insecurities about whether or not adoption would be a good option for us. Who would look at our family profile and pick us?? It was a burning question that we probably still have
5 comments
Read more