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Tuesday Update: 03/28/06

Well, no news on the AVM front as of yet. We heard from the neurosurgeon last week that they want Matt to undergo another full Angiogram. It is their hope that this test will show for sure whether or not Matt has an AVM. He is going to have this one done on Friday morning, so hopefully we’ll know more next week.

In the mean time, we have also filled out the necessary paperwork for Matt’s application to the rehabilitation facility in Omaha. They should be reviewing our information and contacting us shortly to meet in person. I am hoping this works out for us, with insurance and everything. It would be so good for Matt to get the intense therapy, and it would be good for me not to be so torn between helping him with therapy at home and working. Right now however, we’ve got a pretty good system working for us and hopefully it’ll keep going that way.

We both have our up days and down days, but we try to take them in stride. This whole process is such a long one, and some days it is hard to see that there may be an end in sight. Matt worries that he’ll be in rehab for years and years. He wants to walk so desperately. I try to remind him of how far he’s come and how much better things are now than they were just a few months ago. It is hard because we don’t know to what extent he will recover, it is so unknown to everyone. I just encourage him to press on towards better times. I know that he’s going to get better and better, and he just has to keep focused on working towards that. Even on his down days, though, Matt always works hard and does his best. He doesn’t let his fear and doubt distract him from working hard.

I know that people go through life changing experiences everyday and come to terms with them. Matt may never be able to do all that he once could, and we will have to deal with that as it comes. I do know that he’s still going to be able to do a lot, and we can live a long, full life together. I am willing to go through a few years of crap, so we can have a good 50+ years together after. I know he is too…but it is very hard living through the crappy times. Sometimes we feel like our life no longer belongs to us…that it is filled with daily therapies and work…and not much time to enjoy anything fun or remotely like it was before. I want us to work at making more time for just us to do things, or to do things with friends again.

We went to church two weeks ago, and it was so good! We were welcomed back with so many hugs and warm wishes. We are blessed by a wonderful congregation of loving folks. We also went up to Boone and celebrated Matt’s grandfather’s 86th birthday at his grandparents’ house. It was the first time we’ve gone to someone else’s house besides my sister’s. We had a good time visiting with his family and everything went smoothly.

This past weekend we went to a car show at the fair grounds with a couple of friends. Matt was a little hesitant at first, but ended up enjoying himself. We wandered around the cars and talked with our friends about our likes and dislikes with the cars. We stopped at Long John’s and ate lunch on our way home. It was the first time we’ve gone out to do something with friends like that. It also went well, and we enjoyed ourselves. It is my hope that Matt’s confidence will continue to grow and we can plan more fun things in the weeks/months to come.

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