Karwoski Life

Today I really miss Matt. Not just having him around…but missing the old Matt, and the way things used to be. I found a cd of pictures in my desk today. Curious to see what they were, I popped it in to my computer. They turned out to be pictures from vacation…which of course was right before Matt’s hemorrhage. And the last pictures we had taken. I remember at the time being so grateful I had such recent and happy pictures of us. We had them around his hospital rooms so that the nurses could see the ‘real’ Matt. Today they are somewhat bittersweet. I look at those pictures of Matt and sometimes feel like he’s gone. I know that he’s still here, but he’s so different now that it’s almost as though he is a completely different person. I feel selfish for admitting how much I miss my tall husband. How much I miss having a big, strong, guy to take care of me and things around the house. I miss his easy going attitude and adorable smile. I miss coming home from work and having him run up the s...

I just wanted to write a brief note about the wonderful people of Westover Baptist Church. Throughout the past several months they have all surrounded us with love and support in so many ways. We have received many cards and visits, lots of hugs and well wishing, and of course the wonderful Tuesday night meals!! They have been true beacons of God’s love and faithfulness to us. We have always been blessed to be a part of such a warm and kind church family…but recently they really out did themselves. Last night, I was presented with a card and a love gift from our church. They took a special love gift offering for us Father’s Day weekend, to help out with travel expenses while Matt is in Omaha. I was blown away by their incredible generosity and thoughtfulness….I didn’t know what to say. I still don’t, but I want everyone to know how much we appreciate the love of these people…and how blessed we are by them. The card read: ‘You have a God who hears you, The power of love behind you, The ...

I heard a commercial the other day for some sort of financial planning company…and it really made me stop and think. ‘Challenges don’t build character…they reveal it.’ It made me think about Matt and myself, and this whole situation which has been full of challenges. I continue to be impressed by Matt’s persistence and willingness to meet the challenges head on, even when he’s feeling down or frustrated…he never gives up trying. He is such a trooper!! His character is amazing to me. We had another good weekend together in Omaha. We spent time on Saturday hanging out, talking, and enjoying each other’s company. We went to a movie and swung through DQ on our way back home. Each time we go out and about like that, I feel more and more comfortable. It is so good that we can enjoy things like movies alone together again…we love going to movies…it is very us. Sunday we enjoyed the brunch that is put on by staff in the rec department. We had made to order pancakes and omelets…YUM! The...

I read a devotional last night that really touched me, so I thought I’d share. It talks about faith. ‘Faith is not based on what I think He will do for me. My faith is based on what He has already done for me. That has to be the bottom line of our faith…It is to put everything, rest everything based on that which Jesus Christ has done for you and me.’ Throughout this experience I have felt my faith grow and change in many ways. I could not have imagined that I would have the opportunity to rely on it so heavily at this point in my life…but I am so very grateful for it. Today I attended the funeral of my Step Grandfather, Wendell Byrnes. He had only been married to my Grandma Maris for 6 years, and I never really had the chance to know him in a very personal way. During the funeral service, however, it was very touching to listen to the accounts of his bravery and courage during his military service, his sense of humor, and his kind and generous ways. I do believe that God brou...

Well, we had ourselves a good first weekend. Matt and I ventured out on Saturday to Wal-Mart to get a few things for his room. We hung up some of his favorite Pontiac signs and some other things I had brought from home…making his room feel a little bit more like his space. That night we went out to dinner and a movie…it was our first time out to a movie in a long time! We enjoyed the time alone together and also doing something that we always loved…going to a movie. Sunday was another low-key day, spent hanging out with his family. Today’s meeting with the staff that will be working with Matt went really well. They all went over their individual assessments of Matt’s abilities and their plan of action. It was really, really helpful for us to gain insight into how they all work together, incorporating all aspects of his therapy together. They talked about how the various therapy techniques and strategies will be applied in everyday activities. For example, the speech therapist w...

Things are going pretty well here on the home front…other than the motor on our AC unit going bad at the house! (Only a minor repair…but just typical for the way my life is going these days!) My first full day at work was good. My co-worker put up a big welcome back banner and brought in bagels for everyone! It was so sweet and so thoughtful! It feels good to have so much moral and personal support here at work. I am looking forward to working in the office full time again…although it is weird to there all day! Matt has been trying to adjust to his new surroundings the best he can. It is hard for him right now. I think he’s trying to figure out how he fits in there. There are so many people with traumatic brain injuries with various levels of cognitive issues. For Matt, his intellect, memory, and personality have been the same…so he just feels like some of the activities he’s doing now aren’t really appropriate for him. It’s just hard to say right now. These first few days they are ass...

We have a few minutes in between things this afternoon, so I thought I’d take the opportunity to jot down a few notes on how things have been going so far here in Omaha. The past few days have been a jumble of meetings, assessments, and general ‘get acquainted’ type activities. I think both of our heads are still spinning. The time is flying by…and we are both starting to think about my leaving tomorrow night. No doubt we both have mixed emotions about that. Yesterday I had a hard time even thinking about letting go and trusting others to look after and care for Matt…but today that uneasiness is starting to subside somewhat. The more we get to know the staff, the more at ease we both feel. There are so many people who have worked here for several years who will be working closely with Matt on his day to day activities. It is good to see such compassionate and caring people working here…that is so important to us. Most of this week will be spent meeting with the various departments as t...

Well, we made it home safe and sound yesterday. The embolization was a success! The doctor explained that they were very conservative when they went in, because of the delicate area of the brain where the AVF is located. But, they were able to successfully embolize the ‘main feeders’ to the AVF. (The bigger veins.) He said there are 2 or 3 tiny veins remaining, but they are too small for them to treat at this time. He said that in his experience, many times these veins block themselves off over time and he is cautiously optimistic that this will happen in Matt’s case. Already, they could see that the blood going through these tiny veins was much slower than before. It is also possible that these tiny veins could grow larger. IF that happens, then they will treat them with embolization as well down the road. If they stay the same, they will just continue to follow them to ensure there are no changes. Matt will likely have a few angiograms each year to check things out. We were v...

I just thought I’d try and put one more post out there before things get really crazy this week. We are hanging in there, trying to make sure we’ve got all our ducks in a row for both our trip to IA City and to Omaha. It is HARD trying to pack for a three month stay! Matt usually packs a huge bag for our week long trips to Minnesota, so this will be ridiculous, I’m sure! I have a feeling the car is going to be LOADED!! You know Matt, he always likes to look good! We had another really good weekend. My parents were back for a visit and we had lots of fun hanging out with them. Meghan and Matthew were adorable as ever. Little Matthew is full of smiles and we just love to make him smile and give him lots of kisses. We spent time visiting and playing with the kids Saturday and Sunday. It was so good for me to see my Mom and Dad! I’m so glad they could both come up before Matt goes to Omaha and I am so grateful Mom is staying this week to help out with the dogs and be there with u...