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Friday Update: 07/14/06

As I prepare for another weekend trip to Omaha, I can’t help but think about the fact that our wedding anniversary is next Tuesday. Can it really be 8 years? I think about what we were doing 8 years ago this week, preparing for the big day. Making all of the last minute arrangements…running around crazed with wedding mania. (Ok, so this probably affected me a little more than Matt…but still!) I’ve been replaying our wedding, reception, and honeymoon video moments over and over in my mind. I remember walking down the aisle and seeing Matt standing there, so tall and proud. I remember dancing our first dance together at the reception. I remember our friends who got so carried away with the plastic wrap on the car…twice, and how we laughed about it. I remember driving away, so ready to be alone and start our life together. I remember funny moments on our honeymoon…toasting marshmallows by the fire, fishing in that tiny boat, grilling up our catch of the day, cooking those first few meals for Matt as his wife. I burned the pancakes…the stove was like turbo heat and I couldn’t figure it out. I was so distraught about making a bad meal, and Matt was so sweet. To this day he will blame the stove…even if my inexperience was really to blame. That week spent huddled together in that tiny cabin was one of the best we’ve known. We truly had what I had always envisioned as the perfect honeymoon. It wasn’t fancy, it wasn’t expensive…but it was so us. We had both grown up having family vacations in Minnesota, so it was a natural choice for us to go there on our honeymoon. We stayed at the small resort which my Grandparents had once owned, and my family had vacationed at years before. It was so special to be there and share a piece of my family history with Matt. We spent one day road tripping to the lake where Matt’s family always vacationed and he showed me around there. We passed over the Mississippi river which is merely a small stream up there, and stopped to take pictures. We stopped at all the historical markers and little towns along the way just to see and do whatever we wanted. No schedule, no plans…nothing but time to do what we pleased. It was so perfect. Looking back, I wouldn’t change a thing.
It’s strange to think back to those days, where we were so carefree. Our whole lives lay before us, the possibilities endless, the future bright. It does seem so unfair that our lives would take this crazy turn. It is frustrating beyond words, that we have to go through this. And yet, what can we do? We can kick and fight, cry and scream…but what good would that do? It might relieve the frustration, but the relief would only be temporary. I guess I feel in this situation, all we can do is push through it, trusting that better days are ahead. All that matters to me…ALL that matters to me is that in the end I have Matt. I know that whatever physical disabilities remain, that Matt is still Matt…and that is the most important thing to me.
But, I do pray that one day he will be able to walk on his own, talk easily to anyone, see without tape on his glasses, write with his right hand…and that we will someday drive off into the sunset together on some wonderfully unpredictable road trip, stopping where we please, laughing at the random things along the way, and making more precious memories together.

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