Skip to main content

Tuesday Update: 07/11/06

Well, another week has come and gone…it’s hard to believe how the time is flying. Matt has been away from home for 4 weeks now! I’m surprised how well we are doing being apart…even though we both have our moments, neither one of us dwell on it. We just believe in making the most of the time we do have together and checking in with each other every day. So far, so good. Even Matt would say that. As hard as it is to be apart, we are both hanging in there. Our love is strong. Our bond, unbreakable. I thank God for that everyday.
Matt had another good week. He is still working hard everyday and the changes are starting to show to me. Matt is still unsatisfied…he’s so stubborn, he often poo-poos the progress. He says he won’t feel good about things until he’s able to do it all! I guess there’s nothing wrong with having a goal and working so hard to get there! It’s easy to want to stay motivated, but to actually do it day in and day out…well, that’s a whole different ballgame.
This weekend I brought him a VCR, some of his favorite movies, and some of our home movies to watch and show. We watched his famous ‘Big Stupid Fun’ video. It’s a video montage of Matt and a few friends drag racing at Eddyville, as well as doing smoky burnouts down at nearby boat ramp. It was fun to watch, and also bittersweet. It was strange to see Matt walking around on video, laughing and talking. I know everyone misses that old Matt. But I take heart in seeing pieces of him returning. Every now and then he’ll say or do something that is so VERY Matt and I’ll laugh. He’ll look at me and say ‘See, that’s the old me’…or ‘Yep, that’s ME’. It’s amazing how much we take for granted. The simple things…it’s hard to really break them down and realize how fortunate we are to be able to do them. I hope everyone is able to take a step back now and then and give thanks.


Popular posts from this blog

Carrie Anne - The Beginning of the Story

So, I’ve been trying to sort out how to start this story. It’s been difficult to articulate. Difficult to pick which details to share, and which to hold close. But it’s a story too good, too beautiful, not to share – so here goes! When Matt and I first became parents, we thought our family was complete. We envisioned raising Ethan surrounded by loving friends and family – just the two of us. Given all that we had gone through to finally become parents, we felt content with just the one child. The most adorable boy in the whole wide world. Our Ethan was the apple of our eyes – the most amazing gift. We marveled at all of his accomplishments, soaked up all his love and personality, and celebrated the joy of parenthood at every exhausting, wonderful turn. Along the way, we’ve built a strong and loving relationship with Ethan’s birthmother. We visit yearly, and stay in close contact with pictures, emails, and texts. I have attempted to describe my feelings for her many times over the co…

Carrie - The Wait and the Big Arrival!

We arrived in Florida midday Saturday and made our way to the hospital where we met up with Ethan’s birthmother and her mother. We spent a long afternoon in the waiting room while the doctors and nurses put L through a myriad of tests. Finally, they verified the need to induce labor and proceeded to admit her to the hospital with plans to start the induction process Sunday. Exhausted, we left to check in at the hotel and ate what we thought may be our last supper before the baby came…but…. Sunday we arrived at the hospital mid-morning to see how things were progressing. The nurses gave L a medication to help start the dilation process around 12:30 PM…and told us it would likely take 12 hours for things to progress. We stepped out to enjoy the Florida sunshine for lunch for a bit, then settled in for the long haul at the hospital. We spent all afternoon, evening, and night together – holding watch over L as she slept. As we sat there, listening to the baby’s heart beating on the monit…

I may as well tell you...

I had a miscarriage. I’ve debated for weeks whether or not to acknowledge it publicly. It’s such a personal thing…and this is such a public medium. But a few months have gone by and I’m no closer to feeling ok about it and truly nothing else on my mind really compares, so here I am, letting the world in on my secret. Over the past few weeks I’ve found very little comfort in the fact that only a small handful of people know about the miscarriage. It became nearly unbearable this week, during all our wonderful family Christmas celebrations. Being surrounded by so many people who love me and support me and have no idea how my heart has been broken – it’s a lonely place to be. Not that I would want them all to bombard me with pity or questions or sad looks in their eyes – I realize I can’t have it both ways. But a little acknowledgement goes a long way and I simply can’t ignore or deny the fact that something major happened in my life and impacted me, impacts me still.
It was a warm, sunn…