Today it really feels like fall is here. It’s cool…in the 50’s and cloudy. There are leaves starting to change, fall, and blow around in the breeze already. I find myself feeling somewhat sad today. Matt thinks maybe it’s because he’s not able to be out in the yard doing stuff with me like usual…and that may be part of it…but mostly I find myself thinking about what I was doing a year ago. It is really hard to grasp…that a full year has passed us by. I look up at changing leaves and suddenly I see myself sitting in Matt’s hospital room, watching over him with fear and trepidation. I see our families strewn about the waiting room, exhausted, terrified, anxiety-ridden. I am flooded with memories of washing my face in the sink of the waiting room bathroom, of sitting and staring at Matt’s vitals on the monitor and panicking at each random change in the numbers, of restless nights spent curled up with the teddy bear a friend gave me to help comfort me, of endless hours spent waiting, and worrying, afraid, and uncertain, of that day I saw the birds in the sky and knew that God was with me, of that horrible, horrible day when my whole world came crashing down around me. I am so incredibly grateful that experience is behind us, and I am encouraged daily by the changes in Matt…but it is still so hard to believe this happened to us. Fall has always been my favorite time of year, but now it holds a different memory. I just pray that this melancholy mood won’t last long…Matt and have so much to look forward to.
If you had been a customer of the Longhorn Steakhouse on Highway 19 in Palm Harbor, FL last Sunday night, you may have seen two couples walking through the restaurant, oogling a sweet baby boy on the way to their table. You may have commented on how cute he was. You may have thought he looked a lot like the woman carrying him. You may have wondered about the man in the wheelchair. But you likely would not have assumed you’d be witnessing this baby’s biological parents sit down to dine with his adoptive parents. It’s a scene I’ve been playing over and over in my mind as I recount the wonderful experiences of our trip to Florida. The magnitude of that moment, that evening, will never be lost on me. It was incredible to be a part of – and I’m so very grateful we had it. We had met up with Ethan’s birthmother, L, earlier in the day. She hadn’t seen him since he was a few hours old and was anxiously waiting for us outside a local mall. As soon as we saw each other the tears welled up in o...
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