Skip to main content

Sunday Update: 06/17/07

Well, as usual, another week has come and gone and I haven’t had much chance to sit down and write an update. Just when I think things are going to settle down…they ramp back up again. June is just one of those months for us.

Last weekend we celebrated Matt’s baptism. It was a pretty emotional event for everyone. Matt did so great walking down into the tank and walking back up again afterwards. I was so proud of his accomplishment, and so honored to have been watching from ‘backstage’ as he was baptized.

Our eyes met as he turned to be immersed and I winked knowingly at him…it was a moment I will never forget. We have come so far together, committed ourselves whole heartedly to each other, and it was so special for me to have been there when he stood up publicly for his faith. Matt has always been somewhat private about his faith and it was a huge step for him to take, regardless of the physical obstacles he had to overcome just to go through the process of being baptized.
He is an inspiration to so many people…and he will likely never fully grasp it. I just feel so privileged to go through life with him at my side. Sometimes I don’t feel worthy of it…if that makes sense.

I know Matt is special…I know his life experiences are being watched, admired, and pondered…I know he is a living testament to faith, love, and trust. All I can say is that our love, our marriage, is a gift…our ability to overcome the adversity we’ve faced is not from us. And I just hope that we can prove ourselves worthy of this most amazing gift.

Attending Matt’s baptism was a diverse group of friends and family who came to celebrate with us at church followed by lunch at the Machine Shed. We talked and laughed and Matt was touched once again, by the love and support of you all! Today in church we talked to a few folks about it and how great it was…they said it was one of the most moving baptisms they had seen…and they couldn’t remember a baptism where the congregation broke out in applause afterwards…it moved people that much. I cannot say enough how wonderful that group of people is…how loving and thoughtful they have been…they are a beautiful example of what a church family should be, truly. We are so very grateful to have found a church home there!

Tomorrow we are heading to Iowa City for Matt’s second eye surgery. We have preop appointments tomorrow, followed by surgery on Tuesday. While the previous surgery was beneficial, double vision is still double vision. We just hope that this surgery is able to go the distance and resolve the double vision once and for all. We have been told Matt’s case is very difficult, so we are guarded in our optimism…but my heart just yearns for this one obstacle to finally be behind us. I want so badly for Matt to feel victory…even if it is just victory over one piece of the puzzle. He deserves it…and I just pray he can finally achieve some real, undeniable progress. Everything else is gray…here and there, tiny particles of progress…nothing that shouts out with satisfaction. Amazingly enough, Matt gets himself going everyday and puts his best foot forward, working hard to try and make a difference. He isn’t asking for a miracle…he understands that progress will be slow and indeterminate. He’s just hoping…we’re just hoping for a little taste that it has all been worth it. I ask you to send up prayers for us on Tuesday…to be with the doctors performing the surgery, that they might finally be able to fix the problem. While it will likely be several weeks afterwards before we know whether or not it has worked, I just pray that things go well on Tuesday…and that the possibility of Matt being able to see without a patch on would be a REAL possibility…a PROBABILITY…and ultimately a REALITY.


Popular posts from this blog

Where We're at…Right Now

This whole adoption thing is tough stuff, friends. It is a roller coaster ride like no other. And I have to be honest – I’m still not sure this will be it for us. I want to believe it is…but I’m just.not.sure. Matt and I were on our way to church yesterday, listening to the 90’s station when the cult classic ‘Achy Breaky Heart’ came on. We both giggled…and may have turned it up a tad. Near the end we both howled out a woooo-woooo in near perfect, spontaneous, unison with dear mullet headed Billy Ray. It made me laugh instantly and I blurted out ‘we’re so perfect together’. And honestly – we are.
That thought stuck with me all morning.  We.are.perfect.together.  What we have – our marriage, our friendship, our devotion and commitment to each other….they are priceless. Our union is a blessing. It is blessed. 100% meant to be. No doubt in my mind. There is no one on this planet who could ever know me like Matt. We have been through hell and back together. In the hospital, shortly after his …

I may as well tell you...

I had a miscarriage. I’ve debated for weeks whether or not to acknowledge it publicly. It’s such a personal thing…and this is such a public medium. But a few months have gone by and I’m no closer to feeling ok about it and truly nothing else on my mind really compares, so here I am, letting the world in on my secret. Over the past few weeks I’ve found very little comfort in the fact that only a small handful of people know about the miscarriage. It became nearly unbearable this week, during all our wonderful family Christmas celebrations. Being surrounded by so many people who love me and support me and have no idea how my heart has been broken – it’s a lonely place to be. Not that I would want them all to bombard me with pity or questions or sad looks in their eyes – I realize I can’t have it both ways. But a little acknowledgement goes a long way and I simply can’t ignore or deny the fact that something major happened in my life and impacted me, impacts me still.
It was a warm, sunn…

Mother's Day Emotions

Mother’s Day weekend is coming and I’m finding myself all sorts of emotional – go figure. I think the anticipation of how I might feel on my very first Mother’s Day after so many years of hoping, waiting, and wondering sort of made it a bit anticlimactic. Or maybe I guarded my heart a little and didn’t fully let the magnitude of my emotions wash over me. Regardless, I find myself MUCH more emotional this time around.
Last night we watched a TV show about children growing up and moving out etc…and I actually cried. All those jerks who told me how fast children grow and how quickly the time moves…were right. Of course I feel how swiftly time moves the older I get…I blinked and now I’m in my (gulp) 40’s. But I simply could not have fathomed how I would feel about the amount of time I have to be Ethan’s mother. It feels finite. Fleeting. Just not enough.
Don’t get me wrong, I love watching Ethan grow! He is learning and changing and cracking me up all the time. He loves climbing, and runn…