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Wednesday Update: 07/04/07

Happy Independence Day

Well, for me this Fourth of July was kind of a bust. All day I couldn’t quite shake the feeling that something was off…that I was missing something…that I should be DOING something. We hadn’t planned on doing much, just spending time together at home and catching some fireworks in the evening. As many of you know, I am nuts about fireworks. I love them…and tend to get very excited while watching them. But all day today I just didn’t feel much in the mood for the typical July Fourth festivities. And then it sort of hit me this afternoon what it was that was missing…our usual holiday traditions. In years past we have always spent the holiday with family. We’d go boating (or at least try to…if we could manage to get the boat in the water without breaking it or something), or we’d cook out and make ice cream…and we’d always end the day with sparklers and fireworks together with family. This year was the first year that we didn’t plan anything with anyone. Of course last year was different because Matt was in Omaha, so we watched fireworks out there together…but today, being home and not celebrating with anyone left me feeling pretty low. I couldn’t stop thinking about all the years past where we spent the day together with family…and how today just felt like a regular old day. I didn’t expect it to bother me. I didn’t realize how much I had enjoyed that family tradition. It just reminded me of how much things have changed and it made me ache for the days when we could just head down to the lake with friends or family for the day, cook out on the beach, and lay on blankets watching the fireworks. Everything takes so much more effort these days…nothing can just be easy. Sometimes it really sucks.
We ended up seeing fireworks with our friends Jay and Stacy, their son and her parents. I wasn’t sure I even wanted to go…but Matt was up for it and knew that I’d be even more bummed if I missed the fireworks all together. Unfortunately, they changed the location of where they set off the fireworks and we were not in a good spot to see them. We saw most of them, but we were really far away and there were trees blocking a bunch of the display. It just figures, I guess. Matt and I have decided that we’re going to try and catch them in Ankeny in a few weeks when they have their big town celebration. Hopefully we can get out and enjoy ourselves a little more that day. Today was just an off day for me – but Matt was here to lift my spirits, as always. We are so lucky that generally we balance each other out on days like today.

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