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Tuesday Update: 11/20/07

Here are a couple more pictures of the house…things are really starting to take shape and we couldn’t be more excited! Well, maybe we’d be a TAD more excited if we had an offer on our house…but I’m sure it’ll work itself out. We had a buyer come and look at it Friday for the second time, but have yet to hear any feedback from her. This is the third buyer who has viewed our house multiple times so we’re just HOPING that sooner or later one of them makes an offer!!

In other news, we heard from Ruth Lycke at the China Connection yesterday!! She is going to come down to our place next Thursday to talk about her experiences and answer all of our questions. Matt and I intend to sit down and come up with a list so we don’t leave anything out. She thought that things looked good for Matt, so we are anxious to talk through the details and see if we could really make this work. We are SO excited!!

We also made a big decision this week, in regards to therapy. After much thought and discussion, we have decided to stop therapy out at Timber Creek. Matt and I are both very grateful for the opportunity he has had there, and the wonderful experience it has been getting to know the amazing staff there…but we both feel like it’s time for a different phase for us. Matt has been committed to therapy for over two years now and it feels like the right time to make a change. We both feel like therapy has obviously been good for him, he’s made good progress, and now it’s just time for us to live a little…to enjoy the rewards of all that work for a while. We both want to live by our own rules, do our own thing. We’ve been in this ‘do what we’re told’ sort of mode ever since this happened, listening to the advice of doctors and therapists…who have been great…but now we feel equipped and ready to take a step into our future on our own.

There is a lot for us to look forward to right now, with the holidays, the new house, and the possibility of this trip to China…we both just want to have this time to ourselves and it feels really good. I think we are both tired and ready to have some time to just be. We talked with Kim about it last night and agreed that Monday will be Matt’s last session out there. It will be emotional, no doubt. Matt and I can’t say enough how much we have grown to care for everyone there…how much they have positively impacted our lives. And again, we feel so grateful for Amy and her suggestion that we try therapy out there. I continue to be so touched by how invested everyone has been in Matt’s treatment and future. We have been so incredibly blessed by the therapists who have come in and out of our lives…each one leaving their own mark and truly changing us. Below is a note I sent to Matt when he was in Omaha and feeling a little down about things…I came across it today as I was cleaning out old documents and thought I’d share…I think it really captures the heart of things:

‘I just wanted to write you a little bit…to try and get some of my feelings out, maybe a little clearer than when we talked the other night. I just want you to know that I empathize with you…I know this is probably the most difficult time for you, in ways that I can’t ever really understand. I know that it is not easy for you to be surrounded by people in various stages of recovery…especially those who may never regain their normal intellectual functions. I know that they make you uncomfortable and uneasy. I think that this is probably due to the fact that you do not want to be lumped into a label with some of them…a label like brain injured. I know you resist this…and I completely understand it. My hope is that you will be able to learn from them…if nothing else, I hope you can gain gratitude for your untouched mental status…for that is something to be truly thankful for. Not a day goes by that I don’t stop and thank God that you are still in there. I could not imagine how I would begin to go on with you only being a shell of your former self. You say that is what you are now…but I have to disagree.
You may not be the same physically, right now, but in all the ways that matter…in all the ways that I was drawn to…all the ways that melt my heart, make me smile, in all the ways in which we’ve built a life together…you are the same. Can’t you see how important that is? Oh how I wish you could.
You will go on from this experience. You have a future. You have hope. Don’t ever forget that you’ve been given a second chance…it’s not that you have been afflicted or that you are being picked on…you have been given an opportunity. I hope you can see it that way some day. I think this is our chance to really draw ourselves closer to God, and closer to each other. I embrace that chance…what other choice do I have? We could give in to grief, fear, and frustration…sure. But I refuse to do that. I want to live. I want to have a life…with you. I want us to laugh, cuddle, and love each other. I want us to travel and explore things…to share all the good things that life has to offer us. I know that we have things to look forward to, Matt. We have a long, full life ahead of us. I want to make the most of it…come what may.
Keep your chin up Matt. You are strong, capable, and I know you will do great things. I have faith in you, baby. I know you can make it through this difficult time…not just by the skin of your teeth, but with pride and great accomplishment. Remember how Paulette said you leave a wake of admirers wherever you go? Well, it’s true. Even when you feel low, you never give up trying. That is what impresses me most…don’t ever give up Matt. The rewards are so worth the effort.
Just know that at the end of this journey, I will be standing by your side…always.’

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