Skip to main content

Foggy or Not…

We’re staying the course. Matt and I have spent a lot of time over the past few weeks thinking, praying, and talking about what our next steps could or should be in this crazy quest to become parents. While neither of us feel a resounding YES this is the plan for us, neither of us really feel ready to walk away just yet either. And maybe that is the reassurance we were looking for. So, we will be meeting next week with our social worker to update our home study paperwork and will continue down this path a while longer.
As if to confirm God is telling us to hang in there, we’ve received two more potential situations yet this week…and a call from a fellow adoption friend who may have a connection to several other potential situations for us to consider. Throw all that activity in with a crazy work schedule, grass that needs mowed, hair that needs trimmed, floors that need cleaned, a silly race that needs to be run, and Miss Emily has been feeling fraZZLED! I think it would be just like my luck to have a baby thrown in any day now – God definitely has a sense of humor, right?  And boy – do we welcome that addition to the chaos!! 


In the meantime, we’ve been enjoying several other fun things. Recently we took Cotton through a dog obedience course and had a great time watching her learn and respond to us. We can actually go for a walk the three of us now (without fear of running her over)!  I took a day off last week and we spent the beautiful day catching up on errands and yard work and just being around the house together. I got my hands and knees dirty in the flower beds trimming and planting lilac bushes – therapy for my soul, my friends. I hired a man to mow my lawn and rejoiced when I saw him out there mowing, rather than me. Worth.every.penny.
I was promoted at work recently! This comes with a lot of extra responsibility, change, stress, and hopefully good, good things. Extra money is always nice, too, and makes me feel less guilty about the man mowing my lawn!
We have several upcoming trips planned and many good things on the horizon.  Dear friends, I so appreciate you letting me sit here and unleash my feelings – good, bad, or otherwise. While I sometimes feel like each new post is a contradiction to the previous, I guess it rings true to the ups and downs we’ve been experiencing lately. While we still struggle with the unknowns and the battle to be patient…we are still very much aware of how blessed we are. With our health. Our families. Our friends. And our deep, unshakeable love for each other, come what may.
Today I saw this video - which speaks more than I can say about how I've felt over these childless  years...and how I hope...I HOPE to feel someday soon about the child meant for us:   http://www.movingworks.org/project/chloe/

We are a perfect together, indeed. No matter what.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

WE'RE ADOPTING!!

Bah! I said it…er wrote it…out loud. There it is, in black and white for the world to see. (Pause for a drink and a breath) Matt and I are in the very early stages of planning to adopt. We have had a few meetings with an adoption agency, we are gathering the necessary information, and we are making plans to get this ball officially rolling SOON. It has been a very long and winding road to get us to this point, and honestly I never thought we’d get here. Adoption isn’t what we started out hoping for. It isn’t where we thought we’d end up. But here we are – gearing up for what will surely be a life-changing experience for us with hearts full of hope and excitement. The topic of adoption has come up in the past, but we quickly dismissed it for one reason or another. Matt and I have had our fair share of insecurities about whether or not adoption would be a good option for us. Who would look at our family profile and pick us?? It was a burning question that we probably still have ...
5 comments
Read more

I may as well tell you...

I had a miscarriage. I’ve debated for weeks whether or not to acknowledge it publicly. It’s such a personal thing…and this is such a public medium. But a few months have gone by and I’m no closer to feeling ok about it and truly nothing else on my mind really compares, so here I am, letting the world in on my secret. Over the past few weeks I’ve found very little comfort in the fact that only a small handful of people know about the miscarriage. It became nearly unbearable this week, during all our wonderful family Christmas celebrations. Being surrounded by so many people who love me and support me and have no idea how my heart has been broken – it’s a lonely place to be. Not that I would want them all to bombard me with pity or questions or sad looks in their eyes – I realize I can’t have it both ways. But a little acknowledgement goes a long way and I simply can’t ignore or deny the fact that something major happened in my life and impacted me, impacts me still.   It was a ...
4 comments
Read more

A Glimpse Into Open Adoption

If you had been a customer of the Longhorn Steakhouse on Highway 19 in Palm Harbor, FL last Sunday night, you may have seen two couples walking through the restaurant, oogling a sweet baby boy on the way to their table. You may have commented on how cute he was. You may have thought he looked a lot like the woman carrying him. You may have wondered about the man in the wheelchair. But you likely would not have assumed you’d be witnessing this baby’s biological parents sit down to dine with his adoptive parents. It’s a scene I’ve been playing over and over in my mind as I recount the wonderful experiences of our trip to Florida. The magnitude of that moment, that evening, will never be lost on me. It was incredible to be a part of – and I’m so very grateful we had it. We had met up with Ethan’s birthmother, L, earlier in the day. She hadn’t seen him since he was a few hours old and was anxiously waiting for us outside a local mall. As soon as we saw each other the tears welled up in o...
3 comments
Read more