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Saturday Update: 11/11/06

I went to a bridal shower today for the fiancée of my cousin Seth. Chelsea and Seth have been together for nearly 6 years, so we are all excited they are taking the plunge. They are a young couple, full of hope and their future is wide open for them. It was strange, going to a bridal shower. I haven’t gone to one in so long…and it seems so weird to me. I think it just made me think about myself and my marriage. About how long ago it was when I was having my showers…flitting about in my pre-wedding bliss and planning all the exciting details of my ceremony, honeymoon, etc. At first, selfishly, I didn’t want to go to the shower. I didn’t want to be around all the happy people, celebrating this joyous occasion. I didn’t want to be reminded of how happy I once was…how invincible I once felt…how perfect everything seemed. I found myself feeling sad, and jealous of their youth and the newness of their life’s journey. I felt a little robbed of my happily-ever after. Then, I started feeling like I shouldn’t go to the shower. I wondered if I would be the black beacon of doom for everyone. I feared I would be the depressing reminder of how fragile life is and how the rug can so easily, and so unfairly, be pulled out from underneath you. I didn’t want to be the source of pity, or for people to feel they couldn’t relish in their happiness for this young couple just because I was there. And then I realized that even though my life’s journey hasn’t led me where I once thought it would, doesn’t mean that there aren’t things to celebrate in my own life. I realized how lucky Matt and I are to have each other…how blessed we are as a married couple to have such a loving and intimate relationship. I realized that I needed to go to this shower and celebrate the engagement of my cousin, and also to show them what true commitment is all about. Matt and I have been through unimaginable adversity. We have faced challenges that no one there can ever fully appreciate. And yet through it all, we have remained steadfast in our love for and commitment to each other. We are still each other’s best friends, soul mates, and most cherished love…and we will always be. It is my hope that Chelsea and Seth will have a wonderfully long and happy marriage. I know that there are sure to be challenges along the way, but I hope they hold on to each other and allow God to always see them through. I am glad I was there to celebrate with them today, and I hope they know how happy we truly are for them. Good luck, you two!

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