Skip to main content

Sunday Update: 03/23/08

Happy Easter!!

Although it wasn’t much of a springy Easter…I just know that it will be spring soon enough. Today I spent the afternoon up at my sister’s house, celebrating Easter with lots of family. It is always good to see everyone and visit, though I sorely missed Matt and my parents. Family get togethers are never the same without my parents…and it was especially odd without Matt. But I was able to share photos from my trip and talk about how things are going so far for Matt and for me here at the new house…which is all good and positive.

Matt and I talked again tonight and things are going well for him. He said that Mary went out and got some DVDs of TV shows that they are going to start watching. Matt said they plan to get together every other evening and watch some shows together on Matt’s laptop. Tim and Mary came over Saturday night and watched one of Matt’s movies with him. I think it’s just great that Tim and Mary are there – not just to look out for and help Matt…but to be there with him and spend time together. I know it really helps Matt feel less isolated. What a blessing it is to have them there.

Matt and I were also talking about how hard it is to be apart and how he’s been feeling a little homesick this past week. I told him that when he starts to feel down and wonder about whether or not it is worth it to be there…to remember all the pieces that had to fall into place for him to have this experience. To me, there is no denying that God intended Matt to have this experience. There are just TOO many things that happened at all the right times…I truly believe it was meant to be. I know that more changes will reveal themselves in time. We just have to be patient and trust that God is in control. It’s not easy…but no one said it would be. I think that is what faith is all about. Matt told me today that he feels good about the positive changes that he’s noticed already, and that he spoke to Ruth again on Friday and that helped him as well. I know that seeing her and talking to her always help put things in perspective for him. I think it’s just knowing that she went through something very similar to Matt and can understand many of his feelings and experiences…there is a certain kind of closeness that he shares because of their histories.

Things are slowly starting to settle into some sort of normalcy here at the new house. I’m starting to get used to things and setting up a routine with the animals – who have both just been so good! I can’t wait for the last few construction details to be finished, like the driveway and the sod. That will make a huge difference. I will also be happy not to live in a construction zone!! But I can’t tell you how wonderful it is to have all my main living space on one floor, how much I enjoy the laundry room being up here, all the natural light, the open floor plan, and the roomy bedrooms. It is all just such a blessing!!! I can’t wait to share it with friends and family!!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Where We're at…Right Now

This whole adoption thing is tough stuff, friends. It is a roller coaster ride like no other. And I have to be honest – I’m still not sure this will be it for us. I want to believe it is…but I’m just.not.sure. Matt and I were on our way to church yesterday, listening to the 90’s station when the cult classic ‘Achy Breaky Heart’ came on. We both giggled…and may have turned it up a tad. Near the end we both howled out a woooo-woooo in near perfect, spontaneous, unison with dear mullet headed Billy Ray. It made me laugh instantly and I blurted out ‘we’re so perfect together’. And honestly – we are.
That thought stuck with me all morning.  We.are.perfect.together.  What we have – our marriage, our friendship, our devotion and commitment to each other….they are priceless. Our union is a blessing. It is blessed. 100% meant to be. No doubt in my mind. There is no one on this planet who could ever know me like Matt. We have been through hell and back together. In the hospital, shortly after his …

Mother's Day Emotions

Mother’s Day weekend is coming and I’m finding myself all sorts of emotional – go figure. I think the anticipation of how I might feel on my very first Mother’s Day after so many years of hoping, waiting, and wondering sort of made it a bit anticlimactic. Or maybe I guarded my heart a little and didn’t fully let the magnitude of my emotions wash over me. Regardless, I find myself MUCH more emotional this time around.
Last night we watched a TV show about children growing up and moving out etc…and I actually cried. All those jerks who told me how fast children grow and how quickly the time moves…were right. Of course I feel how swiftly time moves the older I get…I blinked and now I’m in my (gulp) 40’s. But I simply could not have fathomed how I would feel about the amount of time I have to be Ethan’s mother. It feels finite. Fleeting. Just not enough.
Don’t get me wrong, I love watching Ethan grow! He is learning and changing and cracking me up all the time. He loves climbing, and runn…

I may as well tell you...

I had a miscarriage. I’ve debated for weeks whether or not to acknowledge it publicly. It’s such a personal thing…and this is such a public medium. But a few months have gone by and I’m no closer to feeling ok about it and truly nothing else on my mind really compares, so here I am, letting the world in on my secret. Over the past few weeks I’ve found very little comfort in the fact that only a small handful of people know about the miscarriage. It became nearly unbearable this week, during all our wonderful family Christmas celebrations. Being surrounded by so many people who love me and support me and have no idea how my heart has been broken – it’s a lonely place to be. Not that I would want them all to bombard me with pity or questions or sad looks in their eyes – I realize I can’t have it both ways. But a little acknowledgement goes a long way and I simply can’t ignore or deny the fact that something major happened in my life and impacted me, impacts me still.
It was a warm, sunn…