Skip to main content

Friday Update: 12/19/08

It’s been a pretty tough week here. Wednesday I attended the funeral of baby Graham…which is something I had hoped and prayed we wouldn’t have to do. While the odds were stacked against him from the beginning of his short life, we all prayed diligently for healing and health…but it just wasn’t to be. I can’t imagine the pain of losing a child…especially after waiting so long for the blessing of one. I just can’t make heads or tails of it…none of us can. All we can do is lean on our faith and pray for comfort and peace. I pray that Scott and Julie will be washed in the peace and comfort of the Holy Spirit and know that their baby is safe and healthy in heaven. It’s hard to know what to say to try and comfort her…it’s hard to feel comfort myself and I am just a friendly bystander. The sadness I feel for Julie is profound. It caught me off guard…I just couldn’t fight the wave of grief that bubbled up and poured out when I got the news that he was gone. And sitting at the funeral, seeing my dear friend crumpled against her husband’s shoulder weeping…I couldn’t stop the tears from streaming. I think we will all grieve for a long time about the life which could have been. I know they will be strong and their faith will carry them through, and in time they will be ok. It’s just such a terrible thing to have to endure. I know how precious life is…how fleeting it can be…how everything can change in a moment’s time. And yet it is so easy to go through the daily motions and forget. I don’t want to live my life in fear of the unknown…but I want to live my life with as much gratitude and awareness as possible. I don’t want to drift from day to day and not realize that I’m surrounded by blessings. I want to live with my eyes open…with my heart overflowing…and so I will try to put this grief behind me as well and be thankful that I have a friend I love this much, who I’ve remained close with for nearly 20 years. I will hope that soon she will see through her tears to the many blessings in her life as well…that her story has touched many lives, and filled many hearts…that Graham’s short life was not for nothing…he touched thousands, and their family’s faith will have a resounding impact on many other families. I know God is good and He will make something beautiful out of this experience…He always does.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Emily ... I was wondering if you could e-mail me Julie's address so that we could send them a card. Thanks ... John Livingston
9:03 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Carrie Anne - The Beginning of the Story

So, I’ve been trying to sort out how to start this story. It’s been difficult to articulate. Difficult to pick which details to share, and which to hold close. But it’s a story too good, too beautiful, not to share – so here goes! When Matt and I first became parents, we thought our family was complete. We envisioned raising Ethan surrounded by loving friends and family – just the two of us. Given all that we had gone through to finally become parents, we felt content with just the one child. The most adorable boy in the whole wide world. Our Ethan was the apple of our eyes – the most amazing gift. We marveled at all of his accomplishments, soaked up all his love and personality, and celebrated the joy of parenthood at every exhausting, wonderful turn. Along the way, we’ve built a strong and loving relationship with Ethan’s birthmother. We visit yearly, and stay in close contact with pictures, emails, and texts. I have attempted to describe my feelings for her many times over the
1 comment
Read more

I may as well tell you...

I had a miscarriage. I’ve debated for weeks whether or not to acknowledge it publicly. It’s such a personal thing…and this is such a public medium. But a few months have gone by and I’m no closer to feeling ok about it and truly nothing else on my mind really compares, so here I am, letting the world in on my secret. Over the past few weeks I’ve found very little comfort in the fact that only a small handful of people know about the miscarriage. It became nearly unbearable this week, during all our wonderful family Christmas celebrations. Being surrounded by so many people who love me and support me and have no idea how my heart has been broken – it’s a lonely place to be. Not that I would want them all to bombard me with pity or questions or sad looks in their eyes – I realize I can’t have it both ways. But a little acknowledgement goes a long way and I simply can’t ignore or deny the fact that something major happened in my life and impacted me, impacts me still.   It was a warm
4 comments
Read more

WE'RE ADOPTING!!

Bah! I said it…er wrote it…out loud. There it is, in black and white for the world to see. (Pause for a drink and a breath) Matt and I are in the very early stages of planning to adopt. We have had a few meetings with an adoption agency, we are gathering the necessary information, and we are making plans to get this ball officially rolling SOON. It has been a very long and winding road to get us to this point, and honestly I never thought we’d get here. Adoption isn’t what we started out hoping for. It isn’t where we thought we’d end up. But here we are – gearing up for what will surely be a life-changing experience for us with hearts full of hope and excitement. The topic of adoption has come up in the past, but we quickly dismissed it for one reason or another. Matt and I have had our fair share of insecurities about whether or not adoption would be a good option for us. Who would look at our family profile and pick us?? It was a burning question that we probably still have
5 comments
Read more