Skip to main content

Thursday Update: 06/11/09

So Matt has had this idea in is mind for a while now…a tiny little glimmer of an idea that he’s been mulling over and thinking about off and on – what if he found an old, cheap Chevette to tinker with and make into a drag car?? He mentioned it to me several times and we’d talk about it in that ‘someday wouldn’t it be fun’ kind of way you do, when you don’t really think it’ll ever happen like win the lottery, or put in a pool, or pay off the mortgage…and I never really took him all that seriously. I thought it was an amusing idea, and I could see how he’d have fun messing around with it with his friends…but life gets busy and his little idea just kind of sat there in the background, gathering dust. Until…the other day I was reading through old blog posts, of all things, and went back to the posts about the Trans Am, and when we sold it…and how hard that was for Matt…and for me. Letting go of that car, we felt we lost a lot of ourselves and our history. It was a sacrifice we both wanted to make, but it was very difficult…and now, a year later, we both miss the car, and what it resembled, a lot. Reading my own words stirred something inside me and made me remember this particular piece of Matt that means so much…he’s a car guy, through and through. And even though he can’t do all the things he previously did with cars, there is much he can still enjoy about them…and even though there was a period he was a little bitter about cars and his inability to mess with them as much, due to his disabilities, he has put that behind him and accepted that while not the same…there is still fun to be had with cars! I realized that if he really wanted to do this, that if he had come to a place of acceptance and peace about things and wanted to have a project car he could mess with along with his buddies and his dad…well then, I wanted to do everything in my power to be sure he had the opportunity.

And so, I helped Matt search high and low for the perfect car, and wouldn’t you know, we found several that looked appealing to him. He’s been e-mailing back and forth with various people this week and is actually in the process of making plans to go up to Minnesota on Saturday to look at, and most likely, buy one!! He’s thrilled about the idea, and I’m just so happy to see that enthusiasm and twinkle in his eye about it. Do you know how big a deal it is that he WANTS to get a car? That he’s willing to do so, knowing full well that he may not be able to drive it? That he’s planning evenings and weekends hanging out in the garage with his buddies, shooting the bull and having a good time bent over the hood? Oh…it’s huge people. I think it speaks volumes about where he’s at in his life…and how far he’s come. Of course I know he longs to get behind the wheel and do a big ‘ol smoky burn out in the street, or tear off down the drag strip himself…the fact that he can still take pleasure in working on it and cheering on his friends from the sidelines…well, that just means so much. And if some day God sees fit to put things in place so that he could get in the car and drive it…that’d just be icing on the cake.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Glimpse Into Open Adoption

If you had been a customer of the Longhorn Steakhouse on Highway 19 in Palm Harbor, FL last Sunday night, you may have seen two couples walking through the restaurant, oogling a sweet baby boy on the way to their table. You may have commented on how cute he was. You may have thought he looked a lot like the woman carrying him. You may have wondered about the man in the wheelchair. But you likely would not have assumed you’d be witnessing this baby’s biological parents sit down to dine with his adoptive parents. It’s a scene I’ve been playing over and over in my mind as I recount the wonderful experiences of our trip to Florida. The magnitude of that moment, that evening, will never be lost on me. It was incredible to be a part of – and I’m so very grateful we had it. We had met up with Ethan’s birthmother, L, earlier in the day. She hadn’t seen him since he was a few hours old and was anxiously waiting for us outside a local mall. As soon as we saw each other the tears welled up in o...
3 comments
Read more

WE'RE ADOPTING!!

Bah! I said it…er wrote it…out loud. There it is, in black and white for the world to see. (Pause for a drink and a breath) Matt and I are in the very early stages of planning to adopt. We have had a few meetings with an adoption agency, we are gathering the necessary information, and we are making plans to get this ball officially rolling SOON. It has been a very long and winding road to get us to this point, and honestly I never thought we’d get here. Adoption isn’t what we started out hoping for. It isn’t where we thought we’d end up. But here we are – gearing up for what will surely be a life-changing experience for us with hearts full of hope and excitement. The topic of adoption has come up in the past, but we quickly dismissed it for one reason or another. Matt and I have had our fair share of insecurities about whether or not adoption would be a good option for us. Who would look at our family profile and pick us?? It was a burning question that we probably still have ...
5 comments
Read more

I may as well tell you...

I had a miscarriage. I’ve debated for weeks whether or not to acknowledge it publicly. It’s such a personal thing…and this is such a public medium. But a few months have gone by and I’m no closer to feeling ok about it and truly nothing else on my mind really compares, so here I am, letting the world in on my secret. Over the past few weeks I’ve found very little comfort in the fact that only a small handful of people know about the miscarriage. It became nearly unbearable this week, during all our wonderful family Christmas celebrations. Being surrounded by so many people who love me and support me and have no idea how my heart has been broken – it’s a lonely place to be. Not that I would want them all to bombard me with pity or questions or sad looks in their eyes – I realize I can’t have it both ways. But a little acknowledgement goes a long way and I simply can’t ignore or deny the fact that something major happened in my life and impacted me, impacts me still.   It was a ...
4 comments
Read more