Skip to main content

Thursday Update: 05/11/06

Well, I heard from QLI Omaha last night. They have a person on staff who is very ‘skilled’ at working through the admissions process with insurance companies and is known for ‘making things happen’. He is out of the office this week, but will be back on Monday and armed with all of Matt’s information, he will be calling my insurance contact. Apparently, IF Matt is approved, the rest of the admissions process can move very quickly. They told me that they have someone discharging this week in a house they believe would fit Matt very well. IF all is a go with the insurance…he could be going there as soon as next week! It really threw us for a loop…we didn’t expect it to be this soon. We have a few trips planned etc…but obviously this has to be the priority. If Matt can go, he needs to go as soon as possible. If that happens, we won’t be able to make the family reunion/wedding reception in Chicago Memorial Weekend…and we may not be able to make our trip to Texas to see my parents in July. The insurance will likely approve Matt’s absence for his embolizatin procedure, since it is medical…but they tend to raise their eyebrows at other non-medical absences from rehab.
There are still a lot of things up in the air right now, so we’re trying not to freak out…but it’s hard. I think I could pretty much start crying at the very mention of Matt leaving, just about anytime. I am finding it much harder to think about now than before. I know, know, know it will be best for him…but man, I just get a huge lump in my throat each time I think of him leaving. I would enjoy the break from all the responsibilities of caring for him…but I would just miss HIM. I see more and more of the old Matt everyday…and I hate the thought of being apart from that. Matt, however, is taking it all in stride…being very upbeat and positive about it. He wants to get going and get back. He wants to reach his goals and do whatever it takes to get there. He is incredible. So, I’m trying very hard not to ruin that by being sad or freaking out. I want positive energy to reflect off me and back to him. I know it’s going to be hard for him to leave too…hard enough without me making it worse by being sad all the time. I want him to feel good about going…and not to worry about me and how I feel about it. It’s a challenge for me right now. I pray that God gives me the strength to weather this next phase of our journey…I can clearly see that Matt has plenty of it! He said yesterday he can handle anything that he’s prepared, mentally and physically for the challenges ahead. I am so proud of him. I think we could all learn a little something about faith, motivation, and determination from him. I think God is showcasing these often difficult to obtain attributes through Matt. I truly believe He has special things in store for him.
So…please be thinking about us on Monday. Please pray for Matt’s future…that he would have this wonderful opportunity to continue his rehab. And if it is God’s plan to take him there, that we would all have peace about it. If it is not in the plan, then we move forward with increased diligence here at home and press on towards the goals that are in Matt’s sight. Either way, I know Matt’s future is bright…and I trust that God will see us through these difficult decisions and transitions…as always.


Popular posts from this blog

Carrie Anne - The Beginning of the Story

So, I’ve been trying to sort out how to start this story. It’s been difficult to articulate. Difficult to pick which details to share, and which to hold close. But it’s a story too good, too beautiful, not to share – so here goes! When Matt and I first became parents, we thought our family was complete. We envisioned raising Ethan surrounded by loving friends and family – just the two of us. Given all that we had gone through to finally become parents, we felt content with just the one child. The most adorable boy in the whole wide world. Our Ethan was the apple of our eyes – the most amazing gift. We marveled at all of his accomplishments, soaked up all his love and personality, and celebrated the joy of parenthood at every exhausting, wonderful turn. Along the way, we’ve built a strong and loving relationship with Ethan’s birthmother. We visit yearly, and stay in close contact with pictures, emails, and texts. I have attempted to describe my feelings for her many times over the co…

Carrie - The Wait and the Big Arrival!

We arrived in Florida midday Saturday and made our way to the hospital where we met up with Ethan’s birthmother and her mother. We spent a long afternoon in the waiting room while the doctors and nurses put L through a myriad of tests. Finally, they verified the need to induce labor and proceeded to admit her to the hospital with plans to start the induction process Sunday. Exhausted, we left to check in at the hotel and ate what we thought may be our last supper before the baby came…but…. Sunday we arrived at the hospital mid-morning to see how things were progressing. The nurses gave L a medication to help start the dilation process around 12:30 PM…and told us it would likely take 12 hours for things to progress. We stepped out to enjoy the Florida sunshine for lunch for a bit, then settled in for the long haul at the hospital. We spent all afternoon, evening, and night together – holding watch over L as she slept. As we sat there, listening to the baby’s heart beating on the monit…

I may as well tell you...

I had a miscarriage. I’ve debated for weeks whether or not to acknowledge it publicly. It’s such a personal thing…and this is such a public medium. But a few months have gone by and I’m no closer to feeling ok about it and truly nothing else on my mind really compares, so here I am, letting the world in on my secret. Over the past few weeks I’ve found very little comfort in the fact that only a small handful of people know about the miscarriage. It became nearly unbearable this week, during all our wonderful family Christmas celebrations. Being surrounded by so many people who love me and support me and have no idea how my heart has been broken – it’s a lonely place to be. Not that I would want them all to bombard me with pity or questions or sad looks in their eyes – I realize I can’t have it both ways. But a little acknowledgement goes a long way and I simply can’t ignore or deny the fact that something major happened in my life and impacted me, impacts me still.
It was a warm, sunn…