Karwoski Life

If you had been a customer of the Longhorn Steakhouse on Highway 19 in Palm Harbor, FL last Sunday night, you may have seen two couples walking through the restaurant, oogling a sweet baby boy on the way to their table. You may have commented on how cute he was. You may have thought he looked a lot like the woman carrying him. You may have wondered about the man in the wheelchair. But you likely would not have assumed you’d be witnessing this baby’s biological parents sit down to dine with his adoptive parents. It’s a scene I’ve been playing over and over in my mind as I recount the wonderful experiences of our trip to Florida. The magnitude of that moment, that evening, will never be lost on me. It was incredible to be a part of – and I’m so very grateful we had it. We had met up with Ethan’s birthmother, L, earlier in the day. She hadn’t seen him since he was a few hours old and was anxiously waiting for us outside a local mall. As soon as we saw each other the tears welled up in o...

Today we dedicated Ethan at church. It was a very moving and special service to both Matt and I. We had been planning it for a while - wanting to wait until after the adoption was final - and it was everything I had hoped it would be. Pastor's message on answered prayers spoke straight to our hearts, as we gazed teary eyed at this adorable and lovable baby boy squealing and smiling in my arms. How amazing is this story? How could it be anything other than God's story for us? It's so very humbling and so incredibly wonderful. Here we sat, surrounded by so many of our loving friends and family. Ethan's supporters filled multiple pews! I couldn't help but smile through joyful tears at how amazingly blessed we are. As we stood up in front of the congregation and dedicated ourselves to raising Ethan to know Jesus, I was struck at how each one of those supporters had left an indelible mark on us, on our life. We simply would not, COULD not be where we are today without th...

Six months ago I stepped softly into a NICU room to peer in on a tiny new life. I stared at his face and tried to comprehend the incredible gift he was. This week we finalized Ethan’s adoption, officially and legally becoming a forever family. He charmed a room full of family and friends, as well as a judge and lawyer across the country. Again, I found myself trying to comprehend the incredible gift his is. SO much has happened these past six months. Our family of three has celebrated all sorts of fun milestones; sleeping through the night, daycare, rolling over, trying solids, the first holiday season, two 40 th birthdays…the list goes on. Being a family, having a son, is amazing! I spent so many years wondering if it would ever be us. If we would ever know the joy and wonder of raising and loving a child of our own. I spent countless tearful nights praying and pleading to God – not wanting to give up on our dream. And now, when I stare at sweet Ethan’s face – I am ...

You are the light of my life You fill my heart with more joy…than I could have imagined Your smile can move mountains And Daddy and I will do just about anything to see it Again And Again Every night before I got to bed, I come in to check on you I lean in To hear your soft breaths To smell your sweet head To marvel at the amazing gift you are Many nights my eyes are filled with tears I’m overwhelmed with how deeply I love you And how humbled I am That I get To be your Mommy I will never be able to comprehend How all the many pieces had to fall perfectly into place To bring you to us I will never be able to thank God enough You are the light of my life My heart, my hope, my joy My son

I realize I’ve been writing a lot about how life with Ethan has changed me – how much I have loved becoming a mother – and it occurs to me that I should share a little about Matt as a father. It should come as no surprise to anyone that Matt and I are both incredibly enamored with Ethan. We are both 100% wrapped around his tiny little finger…happily. We both sit and oogle him, coo at him, talk to him, and absolutely melt when he snuggles into our chests. Becoming parents has been amazing. More…oh so much more than we could have fathomed. Watching Matt with Ethan moves me in a way that’s hard to describe. I have loved Matt since I was a goofy 16 year old girl, but I can honestly say I’ve never loved him more than I do now – watching him as a daddy to our sweet Ethan. We knew going into this that parenthood would definitely have its challenges for us, given Matt’s disabilities. We knew I’d have to carry more of the weight while Ethan is small. We knew we’d have to find ways to ac...

Ethan is ten weeks old today. Ten weeks. It seems like a lifetime ago that he came into our lives, and just yesterday at the same time. It’s still so crazy, thinking back on our time in Florida and all we went through these past few months since learning we were chosen to parent him.   He’s growing and changing so much – it’s incredible. But tens weeks has me a bit emotional. I feel twelve weeks, and my return to work, steadily creeping up on us. And then I find it a bit hard to swallow the lump in my throat. I have dreamed of being a mother for as long as I can remember. I have wondered for years what it would feel like to hold a baby of my own in my arms. To snuggle a soft head against my cheek.   To see a big toothless smile and coo just for me. To stumble around at night warming bottles and changing diapers. To sing quiet songs and whisper prayers of thanksgiving while rocking my sleeping baby. I daydreamed and fantasized and wondered what it would b...

Today I had a work meeting and needed to leave Ethan for a few hours. It was the 2 nd time I’ve been away from him for more than a few minutes for a work thing. I suppose it’s ‘good practice’ for the inevitable return to work, but it’s still a little hard to leave that face. Last night I busied myself laying out clothes and preparing as much as possible for the early morning handoff to Matt’s mom.   I had planned to leave the house around 7:15 – the earliest I’ve been anywhere since, oh, let’s say…August 10 th ! I had set the alarm for 5:30 – just in case…but Ethan woke me up around 5:10 so I knew I’d have plenty of time to ready us both for the day. Good practice, I thought. Ethan drank his bottle with his usual fervor, but towards the end, I could sense that he was ‘working’ on something. Of course we had to stop drinking – because he can’t concentrate on both at the same time. It’s a strange thing – just sitting, rocking your baby as he works on his number two – his big ...