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Wednesday Update: 10/19/05

Blessing for the day:
Matt used his letter board to tell me ‘I would be lost without u’. That’s the best thing I’ve heard him ‘say’ to me yet! It has been so darn good to have him be able to tell me things and discuss stuff with him. I’ve had to make some very big decisions throughout the course of this journey and some have been very hard to make without him. It is good to talk about them now and see that we are in sync with each other.

Matt had a bit of a low day today…just feeling a little down about things. I know he’s going to have moods like this, so we aren’t going to make a big deal about it. He tried his first bite of food, vanilla pudding. It was very hard for him to swallow it. Most of the weakness is in the front of his mouth, pushing the food to the back. Once it’s back there, he is swallowing very well, but getting it back there is the struggle right now. He was very disappointed that it was so hard to eat it. He felt like this first attempt was a failure, which of course we reassured him it was not. He was able to swallow about half the bite, which satisfied the therapist. She tried to let him know that this is going to be one of the hardest parts of his recovery and it is going to take some time to gain that strength back. He knows this, but was frustrated nonetheless. Later, when we were alone, we practiced the exercises to strengthen his oral muscles and half way through he spelled out ‘what else’…he was willing to keep working with me. He is just so darn motivated; he inspires me with his drive to get through this. Even when he’s feeling down and out, he’s working his booty off.

Matt did really well with the other therapists today too. He walked around more than yesterday with the walker, and actually showed improved balance and strength! He’s just doing awesome with that! He also worked on taking his socks off and putting pants on. His balance has improved a lot and he is able to bend clear down to his feet and pull himself back up pretty easily! He was so determined to get his pants on, that he almost took a header out of the chair! He was bending clear down and working so hard on getting his leg through that he started to tip forward out of the chair and the therapist and I both had to grab hold of him to help catch him. Of course, I had a clipboard in my hand and it whacked him right on the forehead! I felt SO bad! But, it didn’t even faze him…he bent right back down and worked on that pant leg. He was more concerned with getting them up and completing his task. Which he did, I might add!!

I went to the Dr. this morning and she confirmed I do have a sinus infection. She started me on antibiotics today and hopefully I’ll be feeling better soon. I filled her in a bit on what has been going on with Matt. As I was telling her, I found myself thinking how weird it is to be talking about it so matter of factly…like can this really be my life I’m talking about? It sounds so foreign…so bizarre…so unreal. It is still hard to fathom that this is our reality. I’m not sure why this is happening to us, but I know that our strength and faith throughout this time is going to get us through it. I have had people tell me that this experience has made them think about their relationships and their own lives with more appreciation. I guess if nothing else, this experience is teaching us all the value of our loved ones. We should never take them for granted. Easier said then done, I know…but thankfulness is a virtue that is increasingly close to my heart.

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